Chelsia in the Hot Tub

I'm sorry, but I couldn't resist posting pics of my girl Chelsia from last weekend's hottub party.
















Natalie also (not surprisingly) shed her clothes, too.

Sheila On Scott Baio's VH1 Show

video.vh1.com

Predictions On Tonight's Telecast

As Indymike noted in an earlier post, the producers of Big Brother have quite a task tonight to edit down four of the most dramatic days in Big Brother history into a nice, neat 48-minute episode.

Besides the P.O.V. competition and ceremony, which has to be aired, there were almost daily fights, sexual acts that will pose problems with the censors, and the Neil/Sharon situation.

Some incidents will clearly be sacrificed, and we all know the producers have no problem with messing with continuity. I’ve come up with a timeline on what I think we’ll see tonight.

Opening: The same five minute recap we see at the beginning of every episode, culminating with the nominations seen on Sunday.

First Segment: Reactions to the nominations, particularly diary room rants by Jen on how unfair it is and how Allison better be the one evicted.

Second Segment: Valentines Day/Horndog Activities. Here’s where I see the producers taking timeline liberties. Obviously, we’ll see Jen and Ryan heading into the bathroom, and very cautiously edited footage of Natalie and Matt. I think there will also be footage of Amanda cuddling with Alex, along with her flirting with Parker. James will have diary room chatter about how the hotness of Chelsia, and we’ll possibly even see footage of Sheila serving Adam breakfast in bed. Somebody, probably Sheila, will have a voiceover about how horniness of the entire house. The segment will probably end with Neil and Joshuah from the previous day, which will lead to…

Third Segment: Neil’s teary departure, and Sharon’s return. We’ll probably get some answers as to why he had to leave, and obviously we’ll see Joshuah bawling. Sharon will enter the house, and we’ll see the fireworks as she vows to get revenge.

Fourth Segment: The P.O.V. competition. Obviously, we don’t know what sort of contest this was, but I’m sure the producers would love to edit this down as much as possible in order to show more of the hookups and fights.

Fifth Segment: Reaction to the P.O.V., including any chatter that may lead us to believe it may be used.

Sixth Segment (if time allows): Light entertainment – some of the more peaceful actions in the house, probably culminating in the hottub bubblebath.

Seventh Segment: P.O.V. ceremony.

End of Show.

I’ll bet the opening segment of tomorrow’s show will be all about the Amanda/Chelsia/Joshuah fight, focusing mainly on the “noose” comment.

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Mending Fences Time?

Sheila's chatting with Jen, and Allison with Ryan. Who's playing whom?






And here's another couple of Amanda ass shot pics...just because I can. (Shut up, Lil!)

Parker Vs. Allison

Silly Parker. He thought he overheard Allison saying something about staying in the house after Wednesday, and he's absolutely shocked that anybody could think he'd be evicted.

He also doesn't see the difference between Allison's venting about her situation and Jen's constant belittling of Allison's appearance and clothing.



Allison is doing a good job of calming him down by telling him she doesn't even know how her best friend (and fake lesbian lover) Sheila is going to vote.



Meanwhile, James, Chelsia, and Joshua have decided that the "other" couple needs to be split up. Obviously, Sheila and Allison need to come clean about their fake relationship.

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What Big Brother Needs To Show Tonight To Catch Us Up.

Call me lazy, but I am cross posting this to both Bigbrothergossip.net and Ilovereality.com because I know quite a few people only visit one site and frankly it was a lot of work to write up :)

Those of us that have been watching the Big Brother Live Feeds have been waiting and waiting for the TV show to catch up with what is going on live. We'll get a bit closer tonight but the show will still end with the POV Ceremony from Sunday.

I think too much has gone on to be covered in one show so here is what MIGHT be shown. With the inclusion of some silly bit and limited time, I am guessing a lot of it wont be.

The days in the house that tonight's show will cover should be Wednesday after nominations through Sunday Afternoon. Thats right - 4 days - and a lot has gone on over those 4 days.

Late Wednesday night - Neil has to leave the house and Sharon returns.

Just a couple hours into Thursday Jen and Ryan ended up apparently having sex in the bathroom. Happy Valentines day indeed.

On Thursday Alex and Amanda talk about their relationship in the house but it is apparent she has a thing for Parker.

There is a short lived blow up when Amanda is positive James and Chelsia are related (she is wrong). Shouting always makes for good segments on the show.

Late Thursday Matt decided to get whatever he can from Natalie (he announced it to some of the guys) so he gets a massage from here followed by her apparently performing oral sex on him very early Friday morning.

Friday was the POV competition - won by Matt and Natalie.

Saturday was pretty quiet until the end of the night - when bubbles were poured in the hot tub and Natalie and James both got naked (rumor is Chelsia might have lots her bottoms as well but I never saw it).

Very early Sunday Natalie and Matt had their second under-cover session - again captured on camera.

Finally on Sunday was the Power of Veto Ceremony where nothing changed.

And that is where tonight's show will end. I'm just hoping to see some blurred out images of Jen and Ryan in the bathroom since that is the one place the camera's don't show.

My recap of tonights show will be over on IloveReality.com, but I am sure Scott, Barb and/or Lil will have some thoughts on the show as well!

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News Flash? Shelia is "Bi."

I guess some in the house still think that Allison and Shelia are a 'couple.' They were just discussing how to reveal their deception to Josh in the future - they are concerned that his feelings will be hurt when he learns they have been untruthful to him

During this discussion between Shelia and Allison, Shelia relates that it was an easy story to come up with because she is Bi. Are any of us really shocked? I think Allison followed up by indicating that she has had her own bisexual experience, but both agree that they still love men.

EDIT TO ADD: Shortly after this conversation, Joshua was seen telling Sharon about Allison and Shelia's relationship (remember - it is fake but Joshua thinks it is real). Might mean some problems for Allison and Shelia if they aren't careful!!

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Did Anybody Else See This Last Night?

After the big Amanda/Chelsia/Joshuah blowout last night, there was apparently another big fight. This is what More Big Brother had to say about it:

...This was not enough for Jen and Ryan so they decided to take it further. Jen mentioned to Sheila that Ryan did not like the fact that she previously dated black men. Jen thought that BB picked up on this and that was the reason she was partnered with Parker. Sheila took this very seriously (what a surprise, she always seems to blow things way out of context) and some name calling started and ended with Ryan being called a racist! Ryan found out what was going on and that really ticked him off. He was seriously pissed off that Jen yet again could not keep her mouth shut. This got Ryan and Jen going and this fight did not finish until 5 in the morning.

Neil Speaks Out!

From his Myspace blog:

Monday, February 18, 2008

Big Brother 9


Thank you so much for the outpouring care, support, and concern from all the BIG BROTHER fans. This has been a difficult time for my family, which I am dealing with privately. The drama is slowly being resolved, and all is headed to a brighter place.

I am now happy to say, that I am spending time with close friends and family. I wish Joshuah the best of luck and hope that he keeps up our brilliant strategy to win the big prize with my replacement, Sharon. Please know that I will NOT be back to the BIG BROTHER house and contrary to some web speculation, I was not let go for health reasons. Eeek! Again, thanks to each and every one of you for your support during all of this Big Brother business.

All my Love,

Neil Garcia, BIG BROTHER 9

P.S. -Shit Happens- >: O

Big Brother - Season 9, Episode 3

It may be February 17 for you and me, but it’s at least five days earlier in the Big Brother house. What a simpler time it was back then. Weren’t the Patriots still undefeated? Was Obama in the race yet? I just can’t remember back to those days when visions of tanned Amanda booty were yet to be unveiled to the public.

Of course we have to have a recap in case we’ve forgotten about all of the excitement that was aired last week. Wait a second. These 16 single people are “looking for love”? Ugh. A surprise announcement “turned the house upside down”? Oh, the hyperbole.

At least we get to see glimpses of Amanda and Natalie’s tits and ass once again. Wait, that’s the story of the entire season. Trust me, if you watch Showtime you’ll be sick of Natalie’s skin really soon. Amanda’s ass, though, is another story.

By the way, Jacob is still a ret…oh yeah, we can’t use that word anymore. I don’t want to be boycotted.

After way too much time on recapping, we start with the aftermath of the HOH competition. Chelsia says she’s happy Amanda and Alex won, until she realized that meant “(Amanda’s) going to be prancing around…in her ridiculous short-shorts to let everybody know who the princess is.” C’mon girl, how about you copy Amanda and let us see your gorgeous sweet little hiney?’

The kids (and Grandma Sheila) walk back into the house, and, Oh My God, it’s the memory wall pictures! My God, these idiots get excited about nothing. Amanda’s not happy, though. “My worst picture ever! I’d rather have a picture of my booty on the screen then my face!” Trust me, sweetie, so do we.

Matt may be the biggest tool I’ve seen on a reality show since Johnny Fairplay. “The best looking person on the wall is obviously myself. I am a handsome man. I cannot deny it.” Really? There’s only one person in the house that agrees with that assessment, and she’ll prove it with her mouth a couple of times in the next few days.

We also finally get a glimpse of Jen’s true colors. Noticing her pic is prominently displayed in the upper left hand corner, she lets everybody know that is because she knows she’s “going to win”. Oh no you di’nt!

Everybody runs in opposite directions to talk about this faux pas. Even Ryan is clearly embarrassed. “What a bitch move”, says James. Parker agrees, and lets her know. Allison sums it up perfectly – “bitch”.

It’s now time for the Allison show. She whines to Ryan…and then Parker…and then Jen after Amanda tells her she’s chatting alone with Parker. Ooooh, if Allison screw up Jen’s game, it will “really really really really really really piss me off”. Ok, maybe I added an extra “really” or two. How dare anybody stop that powerhouse Jen from winning it all.

Ryan tries to assure Allison that she’s his number one girl in the house. Well, he mainly just hangs his head down and nods his head. I guess that’s how it works at Princess Jen’s house. “This is my show”, Allison says about Jen’s attitude.

More on that later, as it’s time for tears. Poor Amanda is stereotyped as a dumb bimbo with a nice ass because she has a high-pitched voice. Oh really? She goes on to lay it on thick about her father’s suicide, and how she missed his last call. She compensates for the hurt by “being happy”. I know, it doesn’t make sense to me, either, but if brings tears to Chelsia’s eyes. If she’s sad, then I am, too.

Time to see the HOH room. Yeah, that’s the same as every other year, but we’re not yet done with the tears. Amanda’s dad must have loved the ladies, as his favorite artist is Al Green. Guess what disc is in her HOH package?

Yet it’s not just Amanda who sheds some tears. Alex’s father died at 9/11, and part of his gift box includes a cross made out of the Ground Zero wreckage. Before we get to that, though, Amanda spends a few minutes admiring her ass in the photos of the pair that are hung up on the wall. I swear this girl loves her booty even more than I do.

Back to the Jen/Allison/Ryan/Parker situation. Jen and Parker attempt to bully Allison, who promises over and over she’s not going to reveal the big secret. She’s even tempted by her best friend Sheila, but refuses to say a word. “Bitch, you better get your mind right”, says Queen Jen, who for some reason is dressed as part of Queen Latifah’s crew.

Comic relief time. Adam is known as the “Hooded Warrior”, because he’s not circumsized. It’s show and tell time, as Queen Jen has never seen one. Sheila’s not happy, which makes me happy that she has something in common with my friend Lil. Hey Adam, at least some girls want to see your penis. I guarantee that’s the last time I’ll ever write that sentence.

Jen decides it’s time for her and Parker to reveal the big secret without letting Allison know about it. Classy, homegirl, especially when you blame her for making them tell everybody.

This creates a shitstorm throughout the entire house, but isn’t presented as we saw it on Showtime last month…I mean week. For some reason, CBS doesn’t show Parker’s explosion (“Fuck Dat Shit!”), nor his subsequent fight with Ryan where Ryan openly admits his girlfriend comes first. Why didn’t America get to see Parker parading around in his Burger King birthday crown.

At least we do get to see Queen Jen in all of her glory. Clapping her hands to emphasize the brilliance coming out of her mouth, she screams to Allison that “the game is not all about you”. We know, it is all about you.

Allison goes on to tell the few people still out of the loop, and Joshuah has this great idea to have everybody swear on the Bible whether they know anybody before coming on the show. James and Adam both think it’s a silly idea, as does Matt (“half these people aren’t even religious. They’re just swearing on a bunch of words”). For some reason, Natalie has to also swear that she hasn’t had sex in nine months. That will end in a day or two…well, depending on your definition of sex.

More silliness. Matt and Alex bond like the gay strippers they’re bound to become. Allison and Sheila come up with a ludicrous plan to pretend they’re lesbians, and somehow Joshuah’s gaydar doesn’t work when they let him in on their phony secret.

Sheila also has another meltdown about Adam, even though he’s nowhere near her at the time. When he timdily defends himself, she goes even more berserk. It’s funny how they never show her serving him breakfast in bed. At least the pretty boys stand up for him.

It’s finally nomination time, and it’s no surprise that it’s the two couples that are put on the block. The show ends with Jen in tears, clutching at Ryan. Hopefully, Wednesday’s eviction will end with a similar shot.

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Mending Fences the Amanda Way

Everybody can learn a lot from our bootylicious friend. Here's a step-by-step guide to saving face:


1. Change your clothing style...for today, at least. Make your rounds wearing the most conservative jeans you own. Everybody will immediately forget about your ass cheeks hanging out of every item of clothing you've worn since you entered the house.

2. Conspire with Alex and Parker, and laugh at Joshuah when he flips off your picture on the wall. To be fair, he may actually be agreeing with you that it's the "worst picture ever", and it should be replaced by a pic of your ass.

3. Apologize to Allison for every bad thing you've said about her all week, but make sure you revel in your self-pity. "Why me?" Yeah, why would anybody be mad at somebody who spent three hours spreading rumors about almsot eveybody in the house? It's not fair!

Last Night's Infamous Verbal Brawl

Afternoon Delight?

Looks like Ryan and Jen might be getting something going on the live feeds right now. Tune in to cams 3 & 4 if you have the live feeds, if not you can always sign up for the Free Trial - but hurry - who knows how long this will last?

Hmm - they may be settling on some HANDy work by Jen.

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Real life

Really sucks. I have not been able to watch the feeds all weekend, and I'm having withdrawals (as I load them up now). I see from all the posts that I missed a drama filled weekend.

I did catch the show last night and wow, did they cut a lot out. Where was that angry black man that had us entertained for hours, unable to log off and go to bed? The only way I knew what they showed was from that night was seeing the 'jandl' style pink socks.

Oh well, off to view

Calm after the storm?

Right on cue @ 12am Pacific, as the "Big Brother After Dark" show ended, Amanda walked out of the Diary Room. Still crying but not hysterical as she was when she ran in 90 minutes earlier after being verbally assaulted by Joshua and Chelsia.

By the end of the night she and Alex had talked things out a bit but Alex, whom Amanda had said has tied to touch her while she slept, is sleeping on the floor.

Jen and Parker think they are in a bad position. I'd have to agree.

Parker is on a "Diary Room Strike" - pouting yet again. He says when he is evicted he won't talk to Julie.

Amanda has also revealed that she is mad at Big Brother for pairing her with a white guy because she only dates blacks.

One more item of minor note, someone (Adam and Matt?) dumped water on Ryan and Allison's bed. This was the subject of quite a bit of discussion and may come up later. As far as I know the responsible party was not identified.

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OH MY GOD

Sorry for the double post but it's so worth it:

REALLY NSFW AND TOTALLY HILARIOUS: http://oddandstupid.com/BB9/BB9_nudes/bb9_james_zinkand_nude_photos.htm

I see your true [rainbow] colors shining...

So Amanda is the new target. During the battle, Joshuah made a rude-ass comment about her father committing suicide:

Chelsia: ..or [give Amanda] a noose
Joshuah: ..like her dad

Chelsia surprised me in her blowout against Amanda. The isolation is getting to everyone. Joshuah's rape accusation is pretty serious, he should probably watch what he says. Alex's face turned white when that word was thrown out there. I usually am into the gay man persona, but because I disagree with most of what he screamed at her in front of the entire house [cunt, horse-face, whore] I think he's just a total dickhead who's out of line. Yes, even I think there's a line. I like Amanda..and I dig her genuine demeanor. I don't think she's done anything that gives someone permission to degrade her the way she has been. She's been in the DR for a while now, probably looking adorable while crying. Hopefully Amanda will come out stronger, and lay down the law to her poor-man's, Ryan Phillipe partner. I love that cunt.

It seems like the couples keep forgetting they're playing together. The inconsistency between the couples is making me feel like this season isn't what it can be. I also cannot stand the pack mentality among these people. High school never ends.

Allison's jealousy about Ryan not being able to fuck her gambling gash is so annoying. Why isn't anyone calling her out on this shit? Big Brother isn't a personal dating service, they had no clue there were couples until they got to the house. Sheila and Allison need to get their old asses in check. They're, as Matt would say, gaaaahhhbage.

B

Edit: The producers gave Amanda a picture of her father, and she's been crying since she's walked up into her room. Only Jen and Sharon have come up to see it. Also, Amanda is in fact adorable when she cries.

Fight! Fight!

People are starting to figure out that any drama in the house somehow includes Amanda.

Oooooh, my girl Chelsia (along with Joshuah) are now calling her out. Josh threw out a few c-words, and Chelsia did a great imitation of Amanda parading around showing her ass.

Finally - Sharon in a Bikini

Of course, just hours after I complained that I had no skin-baring shots of Sharon she shows up in the hot tub.

What does Ryan know? Will Matt get more than one woman?

OK, I am trying to figure this out. Does Ryan realize that Jen might be going home? Is he stupid or is he playing along and letting her be voted out without letting her know? I have seen him involved in some discussions about the voting - but I haven't seen him pass some of that info on to Jen. Someone clue me in!

I just came in on Matt talking to Allison, I thought he was actually considering switching his vote up and going against Parker and Jen but after he hit on Allison for about 10 minutes (which for the most part she avoided), Matt ran to Parker and Allison all full of himself feeling that he played her to the hilt. Funny thing is, Allison is telling Sharon that she has no interest in Matt and is playing him as well.

Matt has also just explained to Jen and Parker that he doesn't consider getting orally pleased by a woman 'sex' and as long as he doesn't kiss the woman involved he isn't doing anything wrong. He explained that he would have a problem if his mom saw him having sex with the girsl but oral sex performed on him by the woman would be ok.

There is a TON of people playing each other as far as the vote goes in the house. Lots of lies that will be exposed come Wednesday. By then the couple that is leaving probably won't be shocked, but they very well might be as well.

I also think the POV ceremony took place today and it wasn't used.

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Ugh!!!

Enough focusing on everybody's tragic backstories!

Nice editing on the couple's reveal! Where's the part where Parker blew up?

Ranking the Girls of BB9

Since I have a reputation to uphold as a horndog, it’s only fitting that I share my views concerning the sexiness of this year’s female contestants. Here’s how I rank the ladies of Big Brother:



1. Amanda. Let’s face it, it’s all about the ass when it comes to Amanda. Man, what an ass it is; quite possibly the best ever seen on a reality show.

She’s certainly not afraid to show it, too. Besides the instances where it’s been clad in a g-string, she’s generally dressed in booty shorts.



There’s more than an ass here, though. Yes, the face shots are generally not complimentary, but she’s actually quite cute when you watch her live. She’s one of those oddly hot women that are easy to criticize but impossible to not view.

She’s not afraid to use her looks, either. Besides possibly Adam, there’s not a man that she hasn’t flirted with. Eventually, this could be a disaster as she’s already went running to Parker with tall tales about Alex’s conduct.

I have to give her credit, however, for being sociable with everybody in the house. She’s the first HOH I’ve seen that hasn’t spent the majority of the time in the HOH bedroom plotting with her partner and allies. She’s been socializing with everybody, even if it’s clear that it pains her to listen to Natalie’s constant babbling.



2. Chelsia. So far, my girl Chelsia has been a disappointment. Despite her boasting in the pre-show interviews about her wildness and multiple piercings, she’s been way too conservative in the house. No g-strings or booty shorts for her so far.



If last night is any indication, though, she’s starting to loosen up a bit. Besides some frank sexual talk, she did end up bottomless when they filled the hot tub with bubbles.

Despite my disappointment, however, Chelsia is my pick as the cutest girl in the house. She has the face of an angel, and appears to be pretty hip. I see her with an Ipod filled with bands like Arcade Fire, Lily Allen, Stars, and (hopefully) the Replacements.



3. Allison. For the first few days, I didn’t pay much attention to Allison. Her publicity pictures left much to be desired, and she barely appeared on the opening episode.

But as time has passed, her beauty has increased in my eyes. She’s still rarely on screen except when she’s listening to Sheila’s insane theories, but I’m praying that she eventually comes out of her shell and begins to copy Amanda’s clothing styles.

She’s also probably the smartest girl in the house, and if she manages to escape eviction this Wednesday (which currently seems likely), she could end up being the strongest female player. She’s already noticing minor changes in the setup of the house that everybody else is too self-absorbed to take note. She would greatly benefit from a twist that would pair her with somebody besides Ryan, who seems to have no desire to actually play the game.



4. Jen. Nobody can honestly say that Jen is not beautiful. She has that classic girl next door look – a flawless face and a tight, skinny body that she loves to show off almost as much as Amanda.




Jen’s downfall is her personality. As long as she’s in control and/or getting her way, she seems rather pleasant. The moment she’s not, she’s a combative nightmare.




She also seems to have little interest in befriending anybody that she doesn’t believe is at her level, which makes me believe she’s Kail before age, marriage and kids wrecked her looks.




5. Sharon. There’s nothing wrong with Sharon’s looks – we just really haven’t had a chance to judge her yet. She’s easily the most conservative dresser in the house, and also the biggest schemer. She’s just way too consumed with getting revenge for her earlier eviction from the house, which is silly because she was gone maybe 48 hours.

Although her looks do little for me, I do have to admit that she’s sort of cute when she doesn’t tie her hair back. Too bad that’s a rare occurrence.



6. Natalie. Ugh. Does anything other than the word “over-compensate” come to mind whenever you look at her? Come on, even her fake tits are at least two sizes bigger than any girl of her size should even consider.



She clearly has plenty of issues, and attempts to hide them by dominating conversations, showing lots of skin, and parading a false impression of being a Bible thumper. Was there anything more pathetic than her stripper pole routine last night? I don’t think Matt’s treatment of her after late-night oral treats was her first morning-after rejection (yet she reportedly repeated her act last night).



7. Sheila. They may call her “Ma”, but “Grandma” would be a better description. I know plenty of 45 year-olds that look younger than Bob Guccione’s former concubine. Is it tanning, coke, bad genes, or all of the above?



It doesn’t help that she’s a complete wackjob. She claims to have watched every episode of Big Brother, but doesn’t seem to have any idea how the game works. She’s the queen of wacky theories; not just about the game or the people in the house but of life in general.

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Nude Bubblebath? Sex Plans?

For the first time this season, the Showtime broadcast lacked much excitement. In fact, it reverted to what was the standard of most of last season - inane group talk with the occassional two or three people slipping away to a bedroom for a bit of strategy talk.

After 90 minutes or so of nothing interesting on the feeds or television, I went to bed.

However, I find out this afternoon that Showtime ended with:

1. Plans for a nude bubblebath.

2. One couple attempting to figure out how they could have sex without the cameras catching them.

Any clues (or screencaps) to confirm either of these activities? Did any of this show up on the feeds after the broadcast?

Edit: Here's Youtube footage:

Sheila's Father's in Prison?

Apparently, he robbed a bank.

That explains a lot.

The Hotness in the house continues

So Chelsia asked a group of boys in the house if Showtime allows nudity to be broadcast. They assured her they would. She followed up with "[it would be like] hey boysss!!!....and girls!!!". Score. Have my prayers been answered?

Alex reminds me of Ryan Phillipe in Cruel Intentions. Creepy.

Sexual Assault?

Apparently Amanda has been running around today telling all of the other women in confidence that Alex touched her vagina last night. Nobody's buying it, though.

Funny thing, though, as I'm writing this she's cuddling up with him in the backyard hammock. I don't know too many women who snuggle with the person they claimed assaulted them.

Currently, the plan is to vote out Jen and Parker, by a 3-1 vote. This could obviously change, though, by next Wednesday.

BB8's Eric on BB9's Contestants

Good to see this tool is still classy.

Friday, February 15, 2008

HATERS


Well, well, well...the new season of Big Brother is upon us and I decided that it's time to break my silence. Since the completion of BB8, I have really picked my spots and chosen my words wisely. After all, when is taking the high road not a good choice? I figured it's a simple equation - so long as I'm decent towards everyone, I can expect that same decency back in return. Evidently, that's not how it works though. I've been nothing but nice to this point and have gotten shit on in return - I'm done biting my tongue. I'm sick and tired of hearing everyone carry on except for me...so now it's my turn! I guess it's the BB way to talk crap on people...I know I dished it out last summer, but I'm the rare trash talker that can take it. I've just taken enough recently that I'm ready to dish out some more - consider me officially stooping to everyone else's level.

Where to begin? Let's start with this wonderful new season, why don't we? Let me start with some initial impressions about the houseguests. Let's begin with Amanda, who seems to think that I gave her a dirty look when I hosted the competition. Ya wanna know why she thinks that? Because I did. It was highly difficult to concentrate on hosting duties when her vile, grotesque, fat thunder thighs were making the entire set jiggle. I sincerely almost walked out of the yard when she came out in that leotard - was that some sort of a sick joke? It was like a perfect storm of Kail's stretchmarks meeting Amber's America's Next Top Model photo shoot. I was temporarily blinded, hence I accidentally shot her a dirty look. Listen bitch, you wanna talk smack then you better be ready to receive it in return.

On to my friend, this season's resident whore Jen. Jen made it perfectly clear to me that she is in Big Brother for the fame...well, congrats Jen! You're already going to be remebered in BB history! You are officially the house's biggest slut and it only took you 6 days! Let's see, I've watched about 30 seconds of the feeds and I've come across you having your bf insert your tampon further into you, begging to jerk him off, and a 1 minute sex in the same fucking bathroom that 14 other people have to use. You know sex is never good when it starts with "is it in honey? I can't tell" and ends with "awww, it's okay." Jen, you're a very classy girl. Plus, on top of that, your gameplay is pathetic and you are not long for this house...so enjoy filming your sex tapes while it lasts. You are so fucking two-faced with your "oh man, this is so cool, i'm in awe - i can't stop staring. it's sooo cool you guys are here" - then two seconds later bragging about talking shit on us in the DR. In the words of Boogie, you're a real CLASS ACT.

On to Natalie. Natalie who thinks that since she is "so much cuter and better looking and more fun than Eric & Jessica" that she's "totally going to be famous if they are." I don't think I need to say much more about this than she had a sick fat roll in her intro video package and she's not fit to stand in the same room as Jess, let alone in the same league as her. Prancing around in her bra and G string throwing herself at guys is certainly respectful. Oh wait, in the 10 minutes since I've been writing this, I take back what I said about Jen! At least it was Jen's boyfriend! Being the extremely conservative girl that she claims to be, Natalie has just jerked off/blown/maybe fucked Matt very proudly on camera. His response thereafter, "DO NOT get attached to me. No cuddling." Aww, romance is alive in the BB house. I also enjoyed Matt's very manly request that Natalie pinky swear that she won't tell anyone. He's a real tough guy. Natalie, your non-stop whining has already disgusted the viewers, so try to shut your fucking mouth (even though I know it's hard for you with your apparent dick-sucking habit).

May as well stay on the topic of Matt and his boys, Alex and especially Parker. Aren't these guys just so fucking hot and cool? Gameplay-wise, these guys are superstars. Alex has nominated his best buddy Parker (who is likely going to get evicted), Parker has angered every single person and tried to turn the house on his own partner (does he understand that if she goes, he goes?), and they came out of the gates so wildly at least two of them will be out before the jury for certain. I laughed out loud when I saw Parker walking around in the crown...great play, asshole. Matt looks like a complete douche bag and he and his wifey Alex make an adorable couple. Meet the new Scott and Jase. They did well, expect a similar result.

How about my good friend Gretchen Massey, the embarassing host of House Calls? I have a major bone to pick with her cowardly actions. This woman talks shit on 95% of the houseguests all year long, only to kiss their asses in person and back down. It took Gretchen all of two days to say how annoying it is to listen to our voices. Meanwhile, this woman was bowing down before me when she interviewed me in person. This comes from a host who doesn't even have the common courtesy to learn the contestants names. Isn't that your job? Even after posting this blog, Gretchen is apt to call me up and ask me out for ice cream...could you be any more fake? Undoubtedly upping the caliber of the show this year will be the appearances by the Donato family! It's very nice that Dick refused to do it unless they gave Daniele a job too. I like that kind of family support, haha. I am particularly excited for Daniele's insight - "HONESTLY...this episode was sooooo FRUSTRATING. I HATE EVERYONE! I HATE THESE PEOPLE! WAH WAH WAH WAH WAH! I'm the biggest bitch in BB history! Woe is me! Can we talk about me and not these people?" That sort of expert analysis is second to none.

To my good friends...the obese, sad-sack, pathetic, no-life assholes that hide behind their computer keyboards and talk shit on us. Get a fucking life. This concept is pretty simple to understand. Let's see...we were on a national TV show. I've owned my own company, worked for World Wrestling Entertainment, represented Academy Award winning actors. In the past two days we've been on two national TV shows, with another to come for me in a couple of days. Jess is a radio star, hosting and producing two shows a day on a top radio station, and that's while she's getting her degree, performing in two professional dance teams, and taking on about a zillion other upcoming projects. We have lives. Great ones at that. You guys (and you know who you are) spend your days trolling our websites. Reading articles ABOUT US. And commenting on what WE are doing. Who do you think is a bigger loser? The people who are having successful careers in the entertainment industry or the people that spend their time, 5 months after we left the house, still stalking our every move and whining about it. I feel bad for you...get a life, a hobby, liposuction, anything. You are sadly depressed and pathetic.

Man, it was my intention to discuss my fellow HGs from our cast as well, but this is already pretty long - so let me simply say fuck you Carol/Kail/Amber for the hell of it - you all still suck badly. And I'd be remiss to forget Janelle...only a few more months til you can rock out those one piece bathing suits again! As for Dick, get a grip buddy. You don't grasp the concept of America's Player. How do you still not get it? I was contractually obligated to do these tasks - I couldn't pick and choose. It did not "help me" to not choose who to target/who to vote for. In fact, the only strikes against me in the house were the banner/long DR sessions/hinky votes - which were all directly as a result of AP. You didn't strategize or implement shit! You would have gone home, plain and simple, in week 6! You fucked up by targetting me and made your own grave. ONLY the America's Player concept and having the support of the top player in the game saved you. It's that simple. Your pitch to me was complete shit and I would have never aligned with you if I wasn't smart enough to realize that's what needed to be done within the scope of the twist. You know how you always talk about your amazing gameplan that would have sent me home for sure after week 6 if you went home...guess what, you're wrong fucktard! First of all, you DID NOT have the votes secured. So even if the plan was implemented, Dustin would have gone home...not me. Secondly, if Jen had won HoH, she was going after Daniele...not me! Just thought I'd clarify that, so you can finally stop talking about it. Plain and simple, you survived because I wasn't allowed to target you...8 consecutive people I had to get nominated got nominated...it's not a coincidence. And Dick, if you can't stand the heat...get out of the kitchen. You wanna blog about how fake and two-faced the other HGs are...well tell me, why is it that the same week you talked trash on me in multiple interviews, you also gave me a phone call asking me to help you with your upcoming projects, asking us to work together, and saying how you've always liked me so much? Talk about two-faced. But you know what...as you point out so frequently yourself, it's nothing personal...just stating my opinion as you do. You've talked trash on me dozens of times and in your eyes it hasn't affected our friendship, so I don't see why me saying this should affect anything for us. Consider us still on good terms!

In conclusion, I have a suggestion for you. If you don't like what I had to say in this blog...stop coming to my page. Stop reading up on me. Stop hating and get a life for yourselves.

Oh, by the way...good luck to James/Chelsia, Adam/Sheila, and Joshuah/Sharon - we'll be rooting for you bigtime!!!

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