For The Ladies: Rockin' With Their C***s (Almost) Out

Of course, Natalie can't be left out of this game!























Ooooh, and Chelsia!!!

Tune Into Showtime Tonight!

It appears that the producers are timing the margharita party to ensure plenty of drunken material for Showtime. Currently, they're all sitting outside waiting for the booze to arrive.


















Natalie and Chelsia have agreed to recreate the striptease show from earlier this week. I can't wait!

Bikini Day! (Edit: Oops, It's Not!)

Natalie actually looks cute today.

But where are Sheila, Allison, and Chelsia's bikinis?

A Question For the Ladies

Last night, the majority of the evening consisted of Sheila ranting and raving about Adam. According to her, he is constantly abusing her verbally, and if CBS doesn't do something about it she's walking out or is somehow going to force Sharon and Joshuah to use the P.O.V. so she can be evicted.

I just don't see it. For the most part, he spends his time as far away from her as possible. If she's inside, he's outside playing pool. If she's outside, he's lying around in one of the bedrooms with Ryan.

Occassionally, he does snip at her, but it's always in response to her bitching at him. Usually, he can't finish a sentence without her threatening him.

Am I seeing this situation correctly? Is there something I'm missing? Yes, Adam is no prize, and I'd be pissed if he was my partner. But would this psycho be happy with anybody outside of a svelte middle-aged millionaire? Even then, I think she'd concoct some crazy stories.

Health Crisis #2 Is Over, Who's Next?

A few minutes after Amanda's shaky return, Allison walked back into the house. Right before Amanda's collapse, Allison had gone into the diary room after experiencing an allergic reaction to the slop.

Who's Next? Sheila and Natalie are in the bedroom, and either one could end up begging for help. Natalie is complaining of nausea and a headache. Sheila has gone completely off the deep end. Everybody is wrong for "acting" worried about Amanda, and Adam is driving her insane. No, she's the insane one. She wants to be put up, because she's done enough for the show. Whatever.

I guess the only sane women are Sharon and my girl Chelsia.

Edited to add: Ohmigod, Sheila needs to be shot. After spending an hour whining to Natalie about everybody's phoniness, especially Allison, she's once again her best friend and is soooooo concerned about her. And enough about the goddamned peanut!

Give her a piece of bread!

YAY AMANDA'S BACK!!

Time For Some Hotness!

Since the drama is over (except for Sheila's constant rehashing of the same tired story), I thought we need some hotness from my girl Chelsia.

Sheila's drama/yeast infection/other crap

I have a feeling this is going to go on all night. Let's start anew and dedicate this to discussing her tonight.

As she and Adam start again, na na na na I can't hear you!

And Sheila Has To Bring It All Back To Her

She's reiterating the whole story to Chelsia...and yelling at Adam again.

Matt's An Idiot

He just said his greatest aspiration is to be a daytime soap actor. Bwahahahahahaha!

ummmm what have I missed?I

I've been out of town and didn't watch much, but why am I constantly seeing Sheila holding a bowl and drinking out of it?

Amanda's Ass Is OK!

We're back live!

No sign of Amanda, and some are speculating what happens if she doesn't return.

It also came out that panic button brings out not only the medical staff but the Hollywood police.

Amanda's Having a Seizure!

I nabbed this pic right before we got trivia on the screen!

She was complaining last night that she needed a special slop waiver for health reasons.

All Of This Over a Yeast Infection?

We are currently witnessing the dissolution of the only real friendship in the house. Just a day or so ago, Sheila and Allison were still fake lesbians, and now they're screaming at each other over whether Natalie spread stories about Sheila's gynecological problems.

Part 1


Part 2



My girl Chelsia is loving it...she's somehow in on it with Allison. The goal is now to get rid of Natalie and Matt. At the same time, Saint Sheila is telling Amanda that she's the only person who stood up for her during the Main Event fight last Sunday. Give me a break. Of course, what makes me laugh is Amanda is more worried about what everybody is saying about her than anything else.







Bwahahahah! Sharon: "I may be an actress, but..."



Edit: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww, they made up! Blech!

Natalie Strips For Votes

She will do anything to ensure she's not evicted.





Well, most of the amateurs I judged Wednesday night were more talented.

Power of Veto Results

Sharon & Joshuah

Sharon & Joshuah: At least we finally won something...

A New God Squad?

Most of this afternoon focused around a meeting of the minds that included Sheila, Amanda, and Natalie. Besides bashing all of the non-believers (and Allison for telling the house about Sheila's yeast infection), they took turns reading their favorite Bible quotes. Oh yeah, and life's much easier for guys than girls. Please, make them quit using stereotypes from the 50's.

Hmmm, one's a dirty magazine queen, another parades around in next to nothing (although she hasn't since her fight with Chelsia), and the third has performed at least two sex acts in the past week.



I really don't want another season of "good" versus evil.

Amanda a virgin? Could that save her?

Late last night Amanda revealed that she is a virgin.

She explained that in high school her boyfriend cheated on her all the time.

She does claim to love oral sex however.

Will that save her from being voted out? No - but James and Chelsia are discussing pulling Alex and Amanda off the block if they win the POV and getting Matt and Natalie voted out. James feels like if they save Alex and Amanda that they will 'owe' them a favor.

I just said last night that the main target last week of the HoH (Ryan/Allison) didn't go home so not to count on Alex/Amanda going home.

Alex is liked a lot more that Matt in the house in my opinion, and Amanda has laid off the gossiping a bit - whereas Matt has been sulking quite a lot about being nominated and Natalie bugs people because she is semi nuts ;)

Scheduling and Prize Money Theories

Two conversations tend to dominate quiet times in the house - prize money and the timeline of the season. It appears that the contestants in the game know as little about what's going to happen as we do.

Julie Chen indicated on last night's show that the plan is for a full season, but I find that highly unlikely. At the rate they're going, the house will be empty by early April. Yet I don't think there's any way the show will not go much farther than that.

May is the most important month of the year for network television, as it's "sweeps". With the writer's strike now over, the networks will be airing nothing but new episodes of every series during that entire month. Add to that the finales of all of the reality shows, particularly American Idol, which is already trouncing Big Brother in the ratings.





I can see the Big Brother finale airing at the beginning of Sweeps, but that's it. Yet I also don't see the show splitting the pairs anytime soon. What I think could happen would be a surprise for the contestants once it got down to two pairs. They could suddenly announce that the HOH contest will be an individual event, and instead of putting up two people they would personally boot somebody on that week's live show. The drama would be whether they kick out their partner for strategic purposes or somebody from the other team. Sort of a choose your "soulmate" or best friend type of scenario. This would be repeated the next week to reduce the field to two people.





As for the prize money, it's been said many times that their contract says for ONE winner to receive $500,000. Believe it or not, this leads me to believe that the couples may remain intact, and it would be a house vote as to which person in a pair receives the grand prize.

From HoH to Nominated.

Nominations are in - James and Chelsia nominated Alex/Amanda and Matt/Natalie.

James and Chelsia want Amanda out of the house plain and simple. Matt and Natalie are only up because they know that they would be a vote to keep Alex and Amanda in the house.

The Power of Veto competition may be tomorrow, hard telling.

The first food competition was also held today and it looks like Alex/Amanda and Adam/Shelia are on slop.

Big Brother - Season 9, Episode 5 Recap

Here we are with the first live eviction of the season. I’m so praying that it’s Jen that’s shown the door, but we’ve seen crazier things happen in the past.

As expected, we get the standard opening package. Amanda and Alex took control…blah blah blah…veto competition…Jen bitching at Parker…blah blah blah…Amanda’s dad hung himself…gossip gossip gossip…blah blah blah…no use of P.O.V.




Within two sentences, wooden stick figure Julie Chen throws out the insipid “soulmates” cliché. Let’s call it correctly – one real couple that won’t survive until the finale and twelve others that are just going to deal with each other (and maybe relieve some sexual frustrations) in hopes of winning some cash.

But first…oh yes, the footage we’ve been waiting for. The Biggest Fight in Big Brother History! I don’t know about that, but it was pretty damned entertaining last Sunday night on Showtime. Amanda gossips about everybody in the house, and Chelsia calls her out on it. Joshuah decides it’s time to let loose his drama queen side, and eventually makes reference to her dead father. Classy, yet she really set it up a few seconds earlier by lying on her “father’s life”.

Too bad the best footage of this incident wasn’t used – beautiful and talented Chelsia pulling her pants down to imitate Amanda’s standard dress. We also don’t hear Amanda’s classic response – “I didn’t wear booty shorts today”.

Surprisingly, male bimbo Alex is the voice of reason, explaining that because they’re playing as teams gossiping about James also reflects on Chelsia and Amanda’s drama is making him look bad as well.

Amanda ends up crying in the HOH bathtub, with Parker lending a sympathetic ear (and hopefully, I’m sure he’s thinking, other body parts later. “Do I look like a horse? Am I really ugly?” Yeah, it really wasn’t the references about her father that bothered her; it was the horse face comments.

Oooh, some more drama before the eviction. Jen declares that she’ll do ANYTHING to not be evicted, and who better to tell a bullshit tale than Sheila? Ryan’s a racist, she says, and doesn’t like the fact that she once dated a black guy. The story gets back to Ryan, who obviously confronts his “soulmate” (see, I can also use the cliché). Jen’s response is predictable – how dare he listen to anything anybody but what the Queen Bitch says. Of course, it’s all Allison’s fault. What a c-word.

Hahahahaha! Great flashback by CBS when Jen claims to Sheila that she never said he was a racist. I hope he gets back at her by having sex with Allison on Showtime. If it does happen, though, I hope it’s one of those rare days where Allison does her hair and makeup. Talk about a girl who looks fantastic some days, and fuglier than anybody the next.



Time to join Julie and the house guests, and as usual there are audio problems. Once fixed, we get the usual inane chatter about absolutely nothing. Jen and Ryan get a last chance to comment on their relationship, and Jen lets out a doozy. “I ultimately put myself on the block for you, and I know you respect that as does America.” WTF? Trust me, girlfriend, there’s nobody outside of your family and best friends (and probably not even them) who doesn’t see you as a vile, conceited twit. The forced kiss was a nice conclusion.



Silly diary room stuff – dumb Ryan babbles as Natalie’s tits make their first appearance tonight, and Chelsia looks as beautiful as ever. Nothing is really revealed except for a bad joke from James about seeing bugs when Parker turns on the light when they’re sleeping. Say what? Then we get the chat with the HOH couple. Amanda has forgiven Chelsia and Joshuah, and they both get to talk about their fathers. Amanda says she lives her life with no regrets. Come on, I’ll bet there’s been quite a few mornings where she’s regretted picking up the person she’s lying next to.





Finally, it’s eviction time. Final words from all four – “I want to stay here, blah blah blah, I love you all, blah blah blah,” By a 3 – 1 vote, Jen and Parker are evicted. Parker has a fake smile but looks like he wants to throw a punch or two, while Jen’s face is her best moment on the show.

Jen seems to want to run the show even while sitting with Julie. “I don’t want to see what (Allison) has to say.” Parker shakes his head and rolls his eyes the moment Jen’s relationship is brought up, and clearly just wants to get the hell out of there. Maybe he can still catch some footage of Britney for TMZ.



We conclude with the HOH competition, and it’s a bizarre series of questions where they have to guess what will be the most popular choice of the other pairs…and the answers will actually happen in the next week. So for the next three days there’s no hot water, the girls have to wear swimsuits for a day (nice!), there’s no drinking cups for a week, they get a margarita party, the women have to cook for a week, and they don’t get to use the washing machine for two weeks. Pure silliness.

The good news is that my girl Chelsia (and James) have won! The bad news is there’s a good chance Amanda’s hot booty could leave next week. This should be an interesting week!

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C*** Chat?

This is a meeting of the minds - Amanda and Allison listening to Sheila complain about Adam. Everything is Adam's fault, of course.








Meanwhile, Chelsia and James are plotting and napping in the HOH.

Do guinea pigs pee?

After the HoH competition, which forced some restrictions on the houseguests, Sheila expressed concerns about having to wear a bikini for a whole day, Sunday: "I don't like my stomach."

Natalie has a serious social issue where she cannot stop talking. It's like she has a phobia of silence.

Also, This may be the dumbest house ever:

Matt: "Do guinea pigs pee?"
Alex: "They uh.....I think they...I don't know."

Maybe his fake ghetto accent will save him from being found out.

Allison and Shelia un-out themselves.

Shelia and Allison have now revealed to James, Chelsia and Joshua that they are NOT a lesbian couple. They told Chelsia and James together and Allison told Joshua separately.

Allison also told Joshua that she does not like the way Shelia is playing the game and wants no part of her as an alliance.

Joshua told Allison that he didn't tell anyone - yet we saw him tell both Neil AND Sharon.

Allison says she wants to take Joshua to the final two.

And NOW Chelsia and Joshua are conferring - they don't know if they can believe them or not.

Joshua tells Chelsia he wants to take HER to the final two.

bwhahahahaahahah!!!!

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Jen and Parker out 3-1 and James and Chelsia new HoH

No shock there.

Parker was pretty much tight lipped with Julie - it was obvious he just wanted off that sound stage.

I guess they recorded the vote this afternoon because it wasn't live.

James and Chelsia went 6 for 6 on the HoH quiz and won it.

There are some interesting tasks and consequences added for the next week - mote on that in another post.

So Much For the Shortened Season

Julie just asked Ryan and Jen how they'll handle being apart for up to three months.

Odds for an Endurance HoH competition?

What do ya think?

When Amber was evicted last season there were then 6 HGs left and they did the water filling HoH competition that Zach won.

Tonight - assuming the couples stay together there will be 6 couples left.

hmmmmmm interesting!!

Primping

Eight hours before showtime, the girls are getting ready. There's really not much going on, and there's plenty of fireplace interruptions.




One funny thing overhead last night. Sheila told Allison she's here to further her acting career, and she thinks she's doing such a great job she BETTER get a good gig. Good luck with that. From what I've seen, few people can't see through her bullshit.

Big Brother - Season 9, Episode 4 Recap

Ok, I went out on a limb earlier as to how I predicted CBS would squeeze almost five days of house happenings into one tidy 48-minute program. It's only the right thing to do to analyze the episode to see how I did.

As expected, we start things off with the recap. Thank God they’ve taken away the phrases “looking for love” and “news that shocked the house”. Although it’s now been replaced by they’re “playing the game like never before”. Yeah, and it’s to the detriment of almost half of the contestants.

Why did I bother watching Sunday night’s episode? They’ve condensed it down to a tidy 3 minute highlight reel..with two minutes of it once again featuring Amanda’s ass.

As predicted, after the recap we get the reactions to the nominations. Wow, Amanda almost makes sense as she explains how Ryan and Jen have an advantage. Alex says nothing, which is probably a good thing.

Parker also makes sense as he describes Jen’s “steps of destruction”. He leaves out his role as the “Fuck Da House” Burger King. Then again, so did CBS last Sunday. Jen collapses into a corner, but that doesn’t stop Ryan from forcing a kiss out of her. Hey, a man’s gotta get his, too.

Allison’s pretty smart, but she doesn’t know when to stop talking. “I believe you” would have been enough, but it’s followed by multiple “I do’s” and “I wanna believe you’s” as Ryan walks away.

Oooh, it’s time for the Neil situation. They don’t explain the situation, but it’s pretty funny to listen to Joshuah explain how he picked Sharon. “It’s a no-brainer.” Sharon returns, and is shocked when told Ryan and Jen are dating, but the two hour rampage it brought on is somehow not shown. Hmmm.

Time to sex things up. Amanda needs a backrub, and since Alex has “been mean to me” it’s time for Parker to step in. Oooh, there’s blurred out titties. I need to find that clip on YouTube. Hey, watch that right hand, Parker!

Alex walks in while Amanda’s rubbing Parker, and he’s not happy. Think there will be more of this later?

Oh boy, we’re back to Jen and Ryan. They haven’t had sex in two weeks, so Ryan takes her into a bathroom stall. Something tells me it’s not the first time she’s gotten it on in a public bathroom. Parker interrupts and mugs for the camera, and Ryan says all he needs is 15 seconds. Somehow that doesn’t surprise me. Poor Parker complains that her “funky ass” has to get back in bed with him.

Time for Sheila’s cameo. How can anybody believe their little lesbian fable? Come on, Chelsia, think about their backstory. They started dating when Allison was 14? Oh please. Chelsia (whose hair is beautiful in her diary room scene) spills the beans to her partner, James, who has way too much time to think about stuff that doesn’t mean shit. He comes up with some asinine theory about some object in the hamster cage, and it somehow indicates there’s one more couple in the house.

Sharing a sun chair with Alex (refrain from gay joke, Scott), James tells him about the puzzle piece theory. Alex, who hasn’t noticed anything in the house besides Amanda’s ass, has no clue what he’s talking about, but decides it must be that Amanda and Parker know each other.

This whole segment cracks me up. Alex agrees that it’s the girls who create all the drama, and then runs off to spread the story. Before he does that, though, he complains that everybody’s stuck with a stupid partner. “Not me”, replies James. “She’s great.” Meanwhile, Amanda’s dry-humping Parker just five feet in front of them.

Alex alerts a handful of people of his theory, which Amanda hears five minutes later from Matt. Yeah, it’s just the girls spreading stories. “How dare you insult my integrity”, complains Amanda. Oh god, the one liners are just too easy.

Alex blames James, and Amanda runs and tells Parker. They confront James, who has no idea what they’re even talking about. James tries to explain that he wasn’t talking about anybody in particular, but Parker is too busy swearing at James to hear a word he’s saying. Alex backtracks from his story, and claims he never said James named Parker and Amanda. I think it’s time for me to dig out Billy Preston’s old hit, “Will It Go ‘Round in Circles”.

Back to the HOH room. Alex admits that he has feelings for Amanda, but he has a weird way of showing it. “You dress like a slut. How can we play together when you wear a t-shirt that comes up to here showing your nipples, and booty shorts where your ass is half hanging out?” Amanda’s reply is priceless. “Every girl does that.” Note to self - I need to meet these girls.

Silly Matt – he tells Parker that if he wins the veto he’ll use it on him because “you’re my boy”.. Yet in the diary room he says that it would put a huge target on his back. You’re a dolt, Boston boy.

Veto competition time. Natalie and Matt are picked as the fourth team in the competition, and the girls are all tied to a spinning wheel. Something tells me it’s not the first time any of these girls have been tied up. Jen’s approach isn’t surprising. She just screams at Parker the entire time. Natalie just closes her eyes and zones out, much like most of her every day life.

Allison, who has just said she’ll do anything to win this competition, is the first to let go of the button. A little bit later, Amanda does the same, but claims to have thrown the competition. It’s down to Natalie/Matt and Jen/Parker. “Spin it! Spin it!” she screams at Parker. “Parker, come on!” Poor guy.

So Matt and Natalie win, and Jen’s not happy. Natalie’s happy, though, since she’s “representing the Beaver state!” Oh god, once again it’s too easy. Will Matt live up to his promise? Parker seems to think so - “that’s my G”.

Back to Amanda and Alex. Classic male bimbo thinking – since Amanda has no interest in him, he thinks it’s only fair that she not develop feelings for anybody else in the house. Ooookay. She’s not happy with this plan, and goes off to whine to Chelsia and Parker while Alex watches on the HOH TV.

Mercifully, we’re finally at the end of the show. No hottub scene, no Natalie’s oral expertise. But we do see Matt and Natalie declining to use the veto, and both Jen and Parker are livid. Hopefully, they’ll be just as pissed tomorrow when they walk out the door to talk to the Jenbot.

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Not Shown on Tuesday's Show

Here are what I consider the major events not shown that happened over the time frame covered on tonight's show.

• Matt and Natalie's hooking up on two different nights.
• Chelsia and James accused of being brother and sister.
• The hot tub bubble bath thing.

The hot tubb should be brought up eventually IF the Amanda melt down is ever shown since she referred to it over and over (Natalie getting naked).

Chelsia and James - might never be shown, I forgot about the Parker/Amanda accusations so that was sort of similar.

The Matt/Natalie hook up. Who knows - they can show that whenever as long as both are still in the house, and I am SURE it will happen again.