Big Brother 9, Episode 1 (Part 1)

8:00 (All times central) Here we go with Julie Chen, and she’s as wooden as ever. Some night I’m going to count the clichés that come out of the Chenbot's mouth. It’s also clear that we have the same production crew this year, including the boring announcer who always seems to repeat what Julie just said.

8:01 – Julie says they’re “all looking for love”? Hmmm. Are all single people really that desparate? I know I'm not.

8:02. Oh boy. Amanda stinks. “This high maintenance girl is used to getting what she wants.” Ugh.

8:03 I like the bartender chick, though. A little foreshadowing from one of the gay guys – “I hope there’s another gay guy in the house.”

8:04 Uh oh, Ryan’s a Jesus freak. I don’t think he’s going to like the punk rock boy.

8:05 Once again, Julie has to explain what we’ve already been told.

8:06. Why does ever realty show have to have the people screaming how “insane” their new home is? Have they never seen a previous season?

8:07 So, we get to the twists. Sharon and Jacob have recently broken up, and are now forced to be in the house together. Plus, my prediction about Jen and Ryan (who I already hate) pretending to not know each other is true.

8:10 Of course, the paparazzi guy is the first to walk in. I don’t think it will take too long for everybody to figure out Jen and Ryan.

8:11 James is one ugly mofo…and he smiles too much. Sharon’s reaction to Jacob walking in, though, is worth the entire show…although I’m sure Julie Chen is going to focus on it way too much.