BB9+Barb=Better than Sex

Hi! I'm Barb, and from here on out you can hate what I have to say, but I guarantee you'll love hating it. It's win-win for me really. It's not win-win for those in the BB9 house, though. Someone has to win, and there better be a lot of backstabbing when it happens, or i'll be piiiiissed.

I like to think I have a good perceptive eye when it comes to first meeting people. Usually it works pretty well just looking at them too, say in a photograph or an exclusive video from ilovereality.com of the HG's, so I'll take a stab now.

Let's go through the candidates:

Jen is a Danny Donato look-alike, trying to keep it fresh and hip. She looks like she wouldn't like to start any shit, and quite frankly, what the hell are we watching for if there isn't any shit. She might find solice in her fellow Columbus, Ohioan, Ryan. I can't figure out if he's a frat boy, or just likes Coldplay, I get those two confused sometimes. Eh, both won't stay long in my opinion.

Parker is a black paparazzo who must have decided being in front of the camera was going to be a nice change. I'm sure he'll use this all as an excuse when snapping pictures of various celebrities since he'll get to know what it's like maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan, but I'm very excited to hear his celeb stories on BB After Dark. He also has huge,wacky hair. Where's that god-loving, hair-braiding woman when you need her.

Amanda is a paralegal from Minnesota, I call her...prettier Amber. She isn't going to get any play, but her accent should piss someone off eventually.

Sheila, a retired model in her 40s wants me to think she wouldn't hurt a fly. I know better. She's from California she might have a tough skin. They never do though. The crash and burn of all things once full of life rears it's ugly head in time. Hopefully she isn't just happy to be there, taking in the tv experience while she can. I hate that crap. Using that bitter, cut-throat, modeling-industry mindset might pan out if she uses it.

Alex, a dj company owner from Staten Island, is my pick for one of the gay men in the house. He is cute though, it'd be a shame. He looks like a mix of Bomb...I mean Tom Brady and Nick Lachey.

Allison is from Boston, and my TOTAL PICK for the latch-onto-a-man plan. Hope it works for her. Try Parker, paparazzi dig the needy girls now. Hey, I'm just calling them like I see 'em.

Adam, a Flordian who looks like he's an obnoxious European but isn't, is another pick for one of the gay guys. You can have this one boys. Eesh.

Chelsia, I think I'm already in love with you. Your face piercing and devious smile say it all. You are a fucking partyer. Bisexual anyone? If this woman doesn't break something in the house, I'll come there myself and get her the 8-ball I know she's itchin' for right now. Go girl! She'll most likely choose a man to take all her anger out on from the party withdrawal..I'm thinking Jacob, an electrician from Georgia. That cute little southern boy accent is adorable. But it screams walk all over me to a girl like meI mean her.

FAKE BOOB ALERT FAKE BOOB ALERT FAKE BOOB ALERT FAKE BOOB ALERT FAKE BOOB ALERT FAKE BOOB ALERT NATALIE, 28, BARISTA WITH FAKE BOOBS ALERT FAKE BOOB ALERT FAKE BOOB ALERT FAKE BOOB ALERT FAKE BOOB ALERT

Interestingly, there's a biker (no, a real bike, not one with a motor) named James probably loving life. He looks like he might have shit together, even though it's a bit on the weird side. I want to see what he's about. It could all change on a dime of course...if you watch you'd know that. *flashbacks of dustin's face*

Sharon's a realtor who thinks she'll be taking the Donato lookalike award til she meets Jen. Aw. Sorry. Back to square one FOR YOU!

Joshuah, a goofball from Dallas, should provide entertainment. We all know what happens when people like to take the spotlight too much. It shouldn't worry Matt, from Mass. with his snazzy shirts and ironed sweater vests. He thinks he's already won. Too bad, man. At least he didn't get this job by finding Julie Chen a vacation home, cause how the hell else did Neil get in there. What a bore. He is my pick for first breakdown from being away from family.

Basically if there aren't tears and anguish, I'm not watchin'!

Yes I am, who am I kidding, I'm addicted. And now that I've posted, you have two addictions to worry about...don't get help 'til after the show is over. Thanks.

Babs

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Paulisded's Casting Predictions

With the unveiling of the Big Brother contestants less than twelve hours away, I thought it was a good time to chat about the sorts of people that inevitably become a part of the show.
Obviously, these predictions may not hold true this year if what Indymike said earlier about some insipid “Soulmate” twist is true. I pray that he’s wrong, though, as there has yet to be a successful twist. Twins, enemies, ex-lovers, family members, and “America’s Player” were all complete wastes of time, and I can’t see anything beneficial out of forcing people to pair up.
Even if they follow through with this plan, the basics of Big Brother casting should remain similar to past seasons. Like all reality shows, BB’s booking closely follows the stereotypes that have ruled (and/or ruined) MTV’s Real World. Look for the following people:
1. At least two overly-tanned meatheads who spend the majority of their time in the house lifting weights. They always believe their shaved chests will cause the girls to swoon and the boys to stay clear of their wrath, yet they can’t have any conversations that don’t include their studliness.
2. Hoping for at least one hot hookup to drive TV ratings, the studmuffins must have an equal number of corresponding bimbos. They may rock a string bikini, but once again their conversations rarely stray from themselves or what you’ll find in People or Us Magazine.
3. One militant minority. An African-American is the TV standard, but every now and then you may find a Hispanic or a person of Middle Eastern descent. Delusions of grandeur inevitably affect their play, as they somehow believe they’re playing for their race.
4. One “flamboyant” gay person. They feel they represent the entire country’s homosexual population, and at one point in the season they’ll be offended by an offhand remark made by one of the meatheads.
5. One small town hick who has not only never traveled beyond their county’s boundaries, but has never met anybody who has any views outside of their own. They’ll be shocked when they meet a black, gay, and/or non-Christian. How can anybody be this sheltered in this era of MTV and the internet? It also helps if this person is extremely attractive, and has an existing relationship that will be tempted by their attraction to one of the pretty people.
6. One ultra-religious loon who believes God is going to hand them the prize money, and will spend the entire season offended by the existence of the homosexual contestant and the ultra-tiny bikinis worn by the bimbos.
7. One or two middle-aged married people who think they deserve to win for their families, and will play the “child card” every time they’re up for eviction.
8. One divorced single-mom who complains about her debts and her children every moment of every day.
9. Another older person, preferably a guy, who thinks of himself as the life of the party. He’s not much of a player, but lasts longer than expected simply because nobody takes him seriously.
These last three categories are the only real differences between Big Brother and the Real World, and they only exist because everybody on the Real World is between the ages of 18 and 24.
It also helps if somebody combines a couple of categories. Nothing is bigger television gold than an ultra-conservative gay African-American pretty boy.
For once, though, I’d like to see the casting of not only Big Brother but all reality shows break these chains and actually sign up some people that don’t easily fit into any category. Evil Dick was a rare character who, like him or not, was never dull mainly because he didn’t fit they typical cast member.
Here are some of the people I’d like to see (besides the all-babe version that would be my ultimate fantasy):
1. Twenty-something male hipster who lives in his indie rock t-shirts and can actually have real conversations during those late-night Showtime broadcasts.
2. Corresponding cute female rock chick, reminiscent of Scarlett Johansson’s character in Lost in Translation. I’d watch non-stop if at some point this person said she has a thing for older music collector dudes.
3. Porn star. Not a Jenna Jameson-ish character, but a relatively unknown person who has made a handful or pornos and is not afraid to admit it. Forget the mid-season discovery of naughty pics that we see every year; it would all be out in the open from the beginning of the show.
4. One ultra-liberal political junkie and a corresponding ultra-conservative. I’m not talking about the ill-informed types that regularly do make appearances, but those that are well-read and can actually debate issues without vilifying anybody whose opinion varies from their own.
5. One Kevin Smith-ish video store clerk. Just an average Joe with a gift for gab and a great wit.
6. One cute but not overly-attractive female bartender. I’m not talking about the usual “actress” waiting for her big break by tending bar in Hollywood, but a takes-no-crap Midwestern barmaid.
7. One professional musician who has toured the country in a small van playing tiny clubs. Not somebody who has tasted any real level of fame, but has a small following in every city in America. If you’ve heard of bands like Hot Water Music, Pinback, or The Whigs, you know what I’m talking about.
8. One middle-aged blogger who secretly gets to write about his experiences in the house. I know the perfect candidate for that spot!

Soul Mates?

Apparently there is a new commercial out there teasing that the HGs will each be paired with a 'Soul Mate' in the house and they can be evicted together.

Sounds like a really radical change to the show to me if it is true, and I am not sure if it is one I would like. Couples Big Brother?

I think rather than speculate too much I'll just wait until Julie announces the HGs tomorrow.

I also saw a video of the House on "The Insider" - I tried to post it here but the code seemed to mess up "Blogger" so I have posted it over here.

Well I was begging for info and now it is starting to roll in, not sure if I like what all I am hearing though.