Will Josh lose his job for telling the entire house that they're retards?
Oh, he didn't actually tell them. He was in the hot tub by himself, and pretending he was talking to them.
I can't wait to see the youtube video of this. Joshuah is nuts.
He keeps looking at the door. I hope someone is listening.
Sharon just walked out. End Joshuah rant.
Edit. Video is up
Sunday, March 9, 2008
Joshuah's Group of Retards
RIP The Inflatable Hoop
Matt and Ryan are reminiscing about their beloved basketball hoop, which has been taken away.
RIP, old friend, RIP.
And yes. All the cameras were on this exciting conversation.
Matt Working on Sharon
Matt was talking to Sharon for a good while about her intentions. He wanted her to know that no one wanted her gone. If you watched the show tonight, you all know that wasn't the case. Sharon was their original target, until a few days ago. Matt wants to make sure Sharon knows who she's dealing with. Matt wants to make a deal with Joshuah because Joshuah was never Matt's target. It was James because of his comments a few days ago. Matt also wants Chelsia out of the house, and if he wins HOH she will be up on the block.
Matt told Sharon to go tell Joshuah what he said.
Sharon is now sitting with Joshuah and telling him what Matt said to her. She said "Don't fuck this up." Joshuah told Sharon he will lay low, which we know means run and go tell Chelsia what he now
knows.
Big Brother - Season 9, Episode 12 Recap
This will undoubtedly be the toughest recap I’ve ever written. What can they possibly show tonight that will come close to matching what was seen on today’s live feeds?
I’m a devoted filibuster-er, though, so I won’t neglect my duty to report what CBS chooses to broadcast tonight. It’s too bad, though, that because the network refuses to tinker with their formula, the non-internet crowd won’t witness these events until Thursday.
The worst thing about this recap is that we have to see Allison once again. It seems like a year ago that she was evicted…although seeing her face when she was evicted a second time is more than humorous. She really knew she was screwed when she discovered she was going against Ryan. Is it just me, or do the females take the eviction worse than the guys?
Ok, we begin post-eviction. Josh is elated, as is Matt. “I couldn’t stand her from the get-go”, he says. Ryan claims he knew something was going down when the door wouldn’t open. Josh said Allison’s face made him “sick” when it looked like Allison may stay.
Sheila claims she was happy when the split was announced, but her face says otherwise. I tend to believe Adam, however, when he says “see you later, baby. I’m tired of dragging that ball and chain around”. Matt couldn’t be more pleased. “I have no chatty Natty nagging in my ear all day.” Nat is immediately pissed that Matt moved to the other side of the couch.
Allison’s hasty departure is discussed next. Ryan acted like a gentleman, and Sheila is all tears (as usual). “Why couldn’t I have done more to help her?”
We move on to the aftermath of the HOH competition. Ryan states the obvious when he says it’s quite the turn of events. Josh, however, thinks he’s screwed, as does Sharon, who makes a rare network appearance.
Predictably, it’s time for more of Nat and Matt. “You’re booted out of this room,” he tells her. “We’re solo.” Clueless Nat says he’s just joking. “He loves me in his bed.” Trust me, girl, there’s only a few minutes a night he wants you in his bed. “He really means the opposite; it’s like reverse psychology”, she theorizes.
In the other room, my girl Chelsia and James are truly torn. Particularly James. “Are you going to target me?” he asks. It doesn’t help that she spends a few minutes flirting with Ryan. “You’re going to see Chelsia change”, he whispers to Josh. Adding to James’ discomfort, she wrestles with Matt on the bed. “It’s gonna happen to you, kid”, Matt promises. “Just watch.”
Natalie’s back to reading the Bible, and a verse from Joshuah must mean it’s about the Joshuah in the house. Yeah, just like Matthew 3:5 was supposed to mean that Matt was going to win HOH on March 3. You silly twit. Adam lays next to her and listens to her verbiage, but it’s clear he doesn’t really care about what she has to say.
Meanwhile, Josh is doing his own praying, asking forgiveness for everything he’s done in the house. Oh, and for a more toned body. God really cares about your six-pack.
Well, if it’s a quarter past the house, it’s obviously time to see the pictures in the HOH room. As usual, it’s a completely boring segment, except for Josh’s response at seeing pictures of Jen. Matt, of course, notices the picture of Ryan’s sister. “Wow, this girl is a smoke show. If you’re watching, (makes ‘call me’ signal)”.
While this is going on, Sheila’s still sad. “Allison is the only person I trusted.” Well, then you should have maybe not been so catty with her. “This game has gotten really scary”, she complains to a non-interested Adam. “I got really lucky with you”, she now says after a month of bitching about him. “You played a good game. You could go to the end.”
James finally gets a chance to tell Chelsia how he feels. “I didn’t think I’d fall for someone on national television. It’s not what I’m about.” When he suggests that they continue to share a bed, she declines, saying it’s not a good idea “because we have to play it safe.” My God, it’s like sitting through a few of my old breakups. She does her best to reassure him. “If I can’t win this game, I want you to.”
Sheila is back to complaining about Adam. She couldn’t be happier to have her own bed, because he had “restless leg syndrome, he talked in his sleep, and snored. Now I have some comfort.”
It’s now time for Matt to kiss up to Ryan. He only voted to evict him because he knew James and Chelsia were going to. He comes up with the idea that “it’s time for the fellas to join up”. Adam walks into the room, and is brought into the plan. Funny thing is, James is also brought into the plan to “eliminate the vagina”. However, James says in the diary room that he doesn’t think he’s going to join in.
We move on to more of Natalie’s insanity. Again wearing shorts that are so tiny they have to blur her ass, she discovers the multiple colors in the guinea pig cage. This is where we discover that she thinks the “and” that you say when you recite the alphabet counts as a letter. Oh boy, this segment is worth sitting through the rest of her craziness.
Food competition time. Matt doesn’t want Natalie on his team, but she somehow grabbed a blue bandana. “He let me have it”, she claims. “He wanted me on his team.” The contest involves a chocolate fondue contraption, and Josh jumps right in with the obvious Willy Wonka connection.
Letters are inside the fondue, and they must be used to spell the food items that will be the menu for the next week. Natalie claims that despite her lack of knowledge on letters, spelling is one thing she’s great at. Yet she can’t spell the word “cereal”.
The game begins, and Natalie is after sushi because it’s the number one priority in the house. Sure it is. Josh loves meat, so he says it was an appropriate word for him to spell. We get it, Josh. You’re gay.
Sheila’s slowing down her team, and Chelsia’s getting pissed. It’s humorous how the person who hated slop the worst is the one causing her team to be on it once more. She finally spells “milk” as the other team scores two more items.
Matt can’t find the chalk, which allows the other team to catch up. It continues on, and it’s Adam versus Sheila at the end. The game immediately slows down, and Sheila doesn’t get her word written down in time. Mama’s on slop again!
Josh takes Ryan aside to plead his case, and promises to never put him up. “I’ll be your bitch for the week.” Yeah, I’ll bet you would be willing to do just that. For some reason, we get a couple of minutes of Josh disco dancing. Please, make it stop. Seriously, it’s segments like these that give the network broadcast a bad name.
James goes upstairs to chat with Ryan and Matt. At this point, the plan is to put up Sharon and Sheila, with Sharon as the target. James doesn’t agree. “You put Sharon up against Sheila, and she’s probably going to stay.” Josh is brought up next, and that’s immediately nixed. James comes up with Chelsia, believe it or not. “I want everybody in the house to know that I’m here to play the game”, he says in the diary room. To be fair, it’s still Sharon they want to target.
Finally, it’s nomination time. You know the script. “One of my duties…blah blah blah”, stare at the pictures, listen to the people say they’re scared to go up, and then end up with what we’ve known all along. As usual, the final shot is the two nominees walking away.
Time for the finale of The Wire, bitches!
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Get Over Yourselves!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You pulled off quite a swerve today. Please get over yourself, though, particularly the minor characters in this action. Nat, God didn't do this for you. Sheila, we know you "have" to get rid of James this week and next week "the other one". You complain that they don't have to get so personal? What about your girl Natalie bringing up Chelsia's supposedly smelly vagina? Guess what, ladies? Neither of you will be around more than a couple of weeks.
And Matt, my friend. We've heard you say enough times that if you were outside the house you would have punched Josh. We've heard you pat yourself on the back time after time. This wasn't your move; it was Ryan's. Adam did more to hide this move than you did.
Brotherly Love.
This is sweet.
Matt is helping Ryan put some lotion stuff on his back. I don't know what it's for, but at least two people like each other in this house.
Of course Matt is hanging in the HOH room with Ryan to talk shit on the rest of the house and solidify an alliance with Ryan, who he deems strong. They're basically feeding each other's ego by saying Matt did the right thing and Ryan would have done the same thing. Oh, and if they were at a bar, 
Joshuah would be laid out. They agree that Joshuah's diss against Natalie saying she's working at a coffee shop for a living was decent, but Joshuah sucks cock for a living. Matt doesn't hate gays. He wants you guys to know it. But he has been feeding Natalie some pretty homophobic comments to say to Joshuah if she ever needs it.
Joshuah said "Fuck Sharon" to James and Chelsia, reiterating what we already know. The alliance with Sharon is obviously broken.
Well, Joshuah is outside right now talking to Sharon. He said he will attack her son and hit her where it hurts. Sharon is trying to convince him not to attack Sheila. This is an awkward conversation to watch, especially since we know what they've said behind each other's backs within the last twenty minutes.
Oh the drama.
Sharon's Switching Sides
Sharon is offended by the things Josh has said, and it's clear Chelsia and Josh have lost her. She's currently plotting with Sheila, but is there any chance Sheila will listen her plea to "shut up"? Doubtful, but she is in a good place for the next few weeks.
Joshuah is still insane.
Matt is telling Joshuah how he feels. I know Matt doesn't like Natalie, or want to fuck her, but he will stick up for her when she doesn't stick up for herself. "Stick up for herself" meaning she won't degrade them in the way they yell at her. I'm very surprised Natalie hasn't begun crying yet, which means she's mentally stronger than we all thought.
She is busy looking for her bible though, which is her source of strength.
Back to Matt. He's very upset with the way Joshuah is talking to women in the house, and hopes that his mom is proud of the son he raised.
Thinking forward, I believe any of the evicted houseguests who are sequestered will side with Ryan and his new crew. Remember folks, there is someone coming back (ALEX PLEASE). Alex has been HOH once. Alex will side with Matt. Without a doubt. This isn't looking good for Joshuah and Scott's girl Chelsia.
Wow! Nat Vs. Chelsia!
Natalie has gone off the deep end. "Your alliance is fucked!" She's strutting around proclaiming that she's the smartest in the house. Nat reveals the rumor about Chel's "odor", and Chelsia responds by asking her if she wants to smell it. Hahahah!
James just tossed iced tea on Nat, and she wants a rule book. Of course, all of this "only makes me stronger". Oh my, she's also the "nicest" person in the house!
Joshuah is insane.
He's going to the diary room to ask if he can ruin Natalie's bed and bible. "I'm going to make her bed an abortion," he said.
Um, if they ruin the bible, I think Chelsia and Joshuah can say goodbye to their alliance with bible reading Sharon. But we'll see.
Edit: Joshuah is not allowed to make her bed an abortion. He was told "You've done enough" by the house.
Chelsia, YOU STINK!
Joshuah is telling Chelsia now that Natalie is spreading the rumor that Allison fingered Chelsia.
Chelsia just ran inside, started taking her pants off, and told Natalie to smell her!
The fighting begins.
Natalie is saying Joshuah was laughing at the story too.
Chelsia says they got played, and she's gonna queef on Natalie's face later.
Hot.
Natalie vs Joshuah and Chelsia.
Natalie is acting all cocky, saying their alliance is broken and she and Matty are here to stay.
Dear Jesus.
Matt is actually yelling at Joshuah and Natalie for the fighting, saying it isn't right. Chelsia can't wait for Natalie to see the show, because her heart will be broken.
James just threw pickle juice at Natalie, Joshuah just poured water and ice on her. That's really not cool in my book. Joshuah should have gone up on the block, in my opinion. Chelsia is laughing, and Matt is starting to get pissed. Chelsia is saying that Natalie was acting childish, but throwing liquids on each other is probably more childish than talking about fingering.
This isn't going to end anytime soon.
Are you with them?
Oh, it's on.
Chelsia is asking Adam if he's with Matt, Ryan, and Natalie. He's lying to her, of course, and saying he's with himself.
Matt came out and ask for a hug from Chelsia, and she said she wouldn't give him a hug. Chelsia says that Natalie came up with the plan, and not "the four" people keep talking about.
Chelsia is pretty mad right now, and rightfully so. She knew yesterday something was going to happen to screw them over, and she was right. James was put up on the block.
Chelsia claims that the entire house was giving Ryan a two week limit, and that Ryan made a mistake and he's going to suffer because of it. She keeps saying "Don't underestimate me." Ryan feels that he was being manipulated and that's why he put James up.
I think Chelsia is most pissed because now she knows the person who she trusts the most is probably going home.
Inside, Joshuah is pacing and questioning who knew this was going to happen. Natalie and Sheila are playing stupid, saying they thought Matt was going up the whole time.
It's very tense in the house right now, and I feel an argument or two coming on.
Feeds Are Back!
And Chelsia is pissed! She's currently screaming at Adam, who's still acting like he's on her side. Matt comes out during this exchange, and begins complaining that he's heard that Chelsia has said a "lot of shit" about him.
Matt's complaining about how they all talk shit about him, and how he when he walks into a room they all stop talking. Oh, and your side doesn't? Now Sheila's outright lying to Josh about whether she knew about this. 
Scott's Girl Chelsia.
Ok Scott, have to call you out here.
What is all this talk that Allison did more than just kiss Chelsia before she left? Shelia and Natalie have told both Matt and Adam in the last 15 minutes that they heard that Allison used her fingers to pleasure Chelsia as well.
The kicker though is that Allison is now being quoted as saying that Chelsia was smelly down there.
The story came from Ryan - I'm not sure who hasn't heard it yet - but I would guess it is everyone except James, Sharon and Joshua.
So Scott - fan of all things Chelsia - fact? Rumor?
Four Cams On This Meeting of the Minds
Attention, CBS camera people. Nobody, and I mean nobody, wants to see nothing but Adam, Sheila, and Natalie!
And as I wrote that sentence, all of the feeds went to Sharon and Josh! Ugh!
Boy, they're all pretty cocky today...which I guess they should be.
Edit: As I was struggling with blogger, the feeds went to flames. I think the drama is about to start!
Drama Over Easy
Who doesn't like drama with their morning coffee?
The houseguests were informed that the POV will take place very soon. And that all the clocks have been set forward.
Joshuah still believes that Matt is being put up, as Scott already said. He's now telling Sheila that he told Adam about the plan, and if Adam didn't follow the plan he would be put up next week. Sheila told Joshuah that Adam will follow the 
majority.
We may hate Sheila, but she's doing a good job at getting info from both sides. Joshuah believes that Sheila wants to be in their group, and has no trouble telling her their plan.
Matt and Adam are outside laughing at Jamesia/Joshuron because "they have no idea what's coming." Matt can't wait for them to see his face when he isn't put up. To me, Adam seems a little scared
for his position in the house after his conversation with Joshuah. We'll see how this works out over the next few days.
Matt just went into the house, and Joshuah came out with Ryan. Ryan is "happy" Adam is on board with Joshuah's plan of evicting Matt. Matt's a liar and will constantly win POV, but never HOH. Joshuah is acting so cocky right now, and Adam and Ryan are acting pretty disinterested in what he has to say. Joshuah went inside, and now Ryan and Adam laughed and know they're keeping the plan they've discussed. This is good news for Scott...er...Chelsia, as Joshuah will tell Chelsia to use the POV on herself and not to keep herself on the block because Ryan is putting Matt up and the votes will go 5-1, the 1 being Natalie who will vote to evict Sharon.
Unfortunately I missed all of yesterday because of the storm in the Northeast. It knocked my power out when I was going to turn on the feeds. Today seems promising for a lot of entertainment. The storm is over, so bring on the drama!
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The Crap Is About To Hit The Fan
The POV ceremony is not far away and it looks like the plan is in effect 100% to put up James in Chelsia's place.
The hours after the ceremony are probably going to be brutal, Matt is fired up and knows that Chelsia, Josh, James and Sharon are expecting him to be nominated. He and Adam and Ryan have been laughing about the upcoming drama.
Actually Sharon seems the least sure but she isn't pushing the issue enough to cause a shake up.
I don't know how 'Big Brother' feels about this - I would guess if they think Matt makes better TV than James then they don't mind seeing this go down.
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