Big Brother - Season 9 Finale Recap!

The moment is finally here – the last hour of season nine of Big Brother. Who will get the prize - frat boy Ryan and his droopy shorts, or “A-Balla”-scratcher Adam?

Personally, I don’t really care who wins tonight. I’m more interested in the evicted houseguests. Will Natalie talk in her pre-kindergarten diary room voice? How many mentions will we get that Sheila is a single mom? Most importantly, how sexy will my girl Chelsia look tonight?

We begin with Julie Chen in her trademark pose – left leg just in front of her right, holding cue cards but reading from a prompter. The only difference is there is an audience tonight, including one fool in the back with some sort of handwritten card attached to his head. Oh God, she’s high-fiving people.

Oh boy, we still get a recap, but now it’s of the whole show. But at least I get to see Chelsia walk in wearing a hot little black dress. Seriously, though, aren’t there other things they could use to fill these five minutes? Although I do like reliving the look on Allison’s face as she realizes the alarm wasn’t going to save her.

Oh boy, we get to vote for somebody tonight – favorite juror! God, please don’t let it be Sheila or Natalie. But first…we get to see Sheila’s entrance into the jury house. Instead of being in the house, though, the six have to come sit outside and babble nonsense while they wait.

Natalie hopes the last juror is Ryan. Josh doesn’t agree, but Natalie is still pissed at Ryan. Josh, though counters, that Adam always went with the majority, and “at least Ryan had a backbone”.

Ultimately, Natalie thinks it will be Sheila that they will be seeing, so Matt asks what if she’s the one who won HOH. Josh says she “cannot even get herself out of a wet paper bag”. At that very moment, Sheila walks in. After hugging everybody, Sheila tells them that Adam did “what he usually does” and screwed her over. What? Oh, according to her, the fact that Adam didn’t win the final HOH competition means he gave it up. Hmmmm. That was a pure guessing game.

It gets better – Sheila claims that Adam knew if he’d go to the final two with her that she’d get all the votes. The other six sit quietly after that remark. What a shock, though. Sheila wants Ryan to get all the money simply because Adam didn’t win. Well, bitch, why didn’t you step up and win a competition? Oh yeah, you’re scared of water because you once almost drowned, and moving things also frighten you.

They move on to how they’re going to vote. Sheila claims she’s in a “moral dilemma” with both of them, while Matt says he’s going to look at who was the most competitive, including “who outsmarted people the most”. Well, with this crew that wasn’t so tough to accomplish. Josh also says that he’s leaning towards Ryan because of the competition wins. Sheila claims that Adam could have won every competition but threw most of them. This goes back and forth for quite some time, but what’s shocking to me is that they’re making it look like we’re all wrong and that Ryan is going to win!

After commercials, we jump into the jury questions. Matt begins with the dreaded question about what he’s going to do with his money. Adam says a hundred grand will go to after-school programs, another “hundred G’s” will go to starting a business, and he babbles about cars and the like. Ryan, though, is a bit taken aback. He’s going to help his mom, and also do “something nice for Jen” (which causes a nice reaction from Chelsia), and he’ll “look” at putting some money to a charity. They all sort of chuckle at this response. “That was the worst answer ever”, says Joshuah.

Sharon brings out “Hoops” (well, not really) and asks why Ryan fed her a bunch of lies about carrying her to the end. She brings up the “look” he gave to Adam. Ryan claims he didn’t want her out of the house, and the he “fought for you all week”. He claims that the decision to keep Sheila was all Adam’s doing. “I wasn’t 100% sure what he was going to do.” Um, that’s quite a lie, Ryan.

My girl Chelsia asks why she should give Ryan the money when he’s going to propose to a person who called him out on national television as a racist. I don’t know what that has to do with anything, but she sure is cute when she’s angry. Oh boy, Ryan’s answer is “I am not a racist. You can ask any of my ‘boyz’ back home.” He still loves the girl to death, though, which Chelsia says was the “wrong answer”.

It’s now Joshuah’s turn, and he goes right at Adam with questions about Throwing competitions, and making Ryan do his dirty work. He admits that he threw the first competition to Ryan, but the last one was “mano to mano”. “I gave my best shot, and lost fairly to Ryan.” He gets a little heated when he goes on about how this game is “not just about competitions”. Josh then lectures him about yelling at a tv screen. Oh boy.

We move on to James, who congratulates them both and says he supports that they had to do whatever it takes to get to where they’re at. He asks Adam why he should get the money over Ryan, and why he should be in the final two over Sheila. “I got dealt a bum deal from when I walked in this door, and I turned that negativity into positivity…I overcame adversity, and took bad things and make them positive for myself.” He goes on to say that him and Sheila had a “50/50” shot at the end, and that he did a lot to bring her as far as she did.

Oh God, it’s time for “Chatty”. “I was supposed to be there with you, you suckers!” Ugh. Josh sneers, and corrects her that at this point there’s only two player left. She asks Adam if it’s true that he was working to get rid of her. He places the blame on the HOH of that week, Sheila, who as usual scowls. “I wasn’t plotting against you, Natalie. They were forcibly plotting you against us.” Sheila complains that he’s throwing her under the bus.

Natalie says he’s “partially telling the truth”, and moves on to Ryan’s part in her eviction. She bitches about how Ryan’s promise to take her to the final two, and since he was the vote that made it a tie why should she vote for him to get the money? “When I said that, Natalie, I did mean that…that was one of the hardest decisions I had to make.” Not a great answer, Ryan.

We conclude with Sheila, and she goes right after Adam. “I want to know why you lied to my face, right to my eyes, and said you were taking me to the end of this game.” Wait, Sheila, earlier you said Adam never looked people in the eye. She goes on about how SHE carried him “a long way”. He says that he was working with others to help her to get the final three, and that she had a fair shot to make it to the final two.

We end with final speeches, and Ryan admits that at times he didn’t always tell the truth. He goes on and on, but for the most part it’s as awful as a Sharon speech. Adam talks about how the decision is based on gameplay, personal relationships, and what they’re going to do with the money. He claims to have come out with something from everybody, which causes another of Josh’s great looks. Um, neither of these guys did very well. Josh complains about Adam’s attitude, which, obviously, Sheila agrees. They all pretty much say that they’re not sure how they’re going to vote…which creates more fake drama for what’s coming up later.

As noted on this site, Ryan and Adam were both pissed at almost everybody in the jury. Adam rants about how James and Chelsia were cool, and that Josh, Sheila, and Sharon were “psychopaths’.

It’s now time for the jury to come in, and boy my girl Chelsia looks hot in her black minidress! Why did they put her in the back so I can’t look at her legs?

After commercials, we go to the two boys in the house. Julie asks Adam how he felt about the jury questions, and he says it was “rough”. Ryan says it was “nervewracking”. After these great answers, we go right to the voting.

Matt goes first, and before voting he says he misses them both, and that they did a great job. “One of you two is taking me to Vegas”. Natalie goes next, and says she still loves them but is voting her “gut instinct”. Josh is warned that he only gets one statement, and he says he’s voting for the best competitor. Sharon says she based her decision on “who was the most loyal in the game”.

Sheila says that after the “roundtable, this is a very easy decision to make” and babbles about honesty and loyalty and trust. James says he hopes they “party away this money”. Good boy! Mmm, Chelsia ends the voting by saying she hopes they “hold your end of the deal”. I don’t know what that means, but damn!

Before we see the votes, though, the first six evicted contestants return to tell the jury what they may have missed. Julie begins by “calling out” Natalie. Oooh, could this be about the late-night escapades? No, it’s about playing both sides. She admits that this was the case, but her loyalty was to the boys. Uh oh, are they going to show it? Matt thinks so, but doesn’t want to say anything. Natalie claims that “karma” is the reason she’s out. Wait, they didn’t talk about it!

Julie turns to Jen, and the uncomfortable position she supposedly had in the house of seeing her boyfriend paired up with another woman. Jen says her feelings toward Allison have not changed after watching the show. “I don’t care for her. She thought she was a better match for my boyfriend than I was.” Allison says she has no hard feelings for Jen, and that they’re a good couple. Jen just shakes her head.

Ryan is then asked about Adam, and the footage of Adam whispering to Ryan is shown. Adam admits that he did it. “He knew! Come one.” Adam is then shown the footage of Josh crying on command. “Damn” is all he says. Everybody else laughs, and for some reason Julie announces the upcoming $25,000 jury prize.

It’s now time to count the votes. Matt’s vote goes to Adam, as does Natalie! Josh votes for Ryan, but Sharon goes for Adam. Sheila voted for Adam, who wins! He’s greeted at the door by a couple of buddies, and then the rest of the house. (It’s revealed later that both James and Chelsia also voted for Adam.)

When we return, Julie scolds Adam that he better do some good with that money. He immediately announces that $100,000 is going to the United Autism Foundation for after school programs. Before we go, though, Julie has to announce the winner of America’s Favorite Juror. Second place somehow went to Sheila (what?), but the winner is James!!! Wow, I bet Natalie is bummed about this!

Well, that’s it folks! It’s been fun. See you all in July!