Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Big Brother - Season 9, Episode 10 Recap

Welcome to the 4th (or is it 5th? 6th?) straight episode dealing with the insanity that is named Allison. This heavily promoted broadcast promises to show us just exactly how the “Lesbian Alliance” blows up in Allison’s face. Um, other episodes have already expressed that opinion, but since I have the live feeds I know what they’re talking about.

Recap – switching votes, eviction, Allison stinks, HOH competition, Allison stinks, “getting in her face”, Matt and Natalie’s edited “relationship”, “that’s all I get?”, blurred Nat booty, “you guys are here because of me”, Josh hates the lesbian story (foreshadowing), nominations! Got all that?

I’m sure you all know the Tuesday format. We have to begin with the reactions to the nominations. Matt, of course, is not happy. “I need to stay in the house to remind people that I am not to be messed with!” Ugh.

Allison’s not surprised. Well, duh. “A lot of people think Allison is manipulative”, explains Ryan. You think? My girl Chelsia wants Matt and Natalie gone. “I wanted it so bad last week. It’s gotta happen this week. They’re so strong.”

Josh is proud of himself for keeping his cool during the nominations. “I’m glad I didn’t attack her”, he tells Sharon. “It’s very un-Joshlike.” (Sorry, but on the live feeds my girl Chelsia is changing clothes so I’m a bit distracted.)

There’s nothing to report on the next few minutes anyway. Matt’s cocky, Natalie’s whining, Sheila knows it’s going to happen to her soon. Blah blah blah. Sheila says Allison “overplays” the game. You ain’t seen nothing yet, Sheila.

As the great East Side Dave would say on Ron and Fez, it’s time for “jealousy”. James asks my girl Chelsia for a massage later, and Natalie’s eyes bug out even further than usual. “I want mine, too, later from my partner.” We get a montage of rejection. She tries to cuddle with Matt and is rejected. She brings up a massage again and is rejected. She climbs on top of him and is rejected. “I need hammock time, Matty.”

“Ever since I kissed Natalie she’s been chasing me around”, claims Matt. Kissed? Well, I guess technically those three (four?) times were kissing. You’re just not saying where. She tries another tactic. “Want me to give you a massage?” “No” is the quick reply.

Allison begins her game play with Natalie. An obvious choice, I guess, but given that she’s also on the block it’s a questionable decision. “Matt and Natalie owe us because we saved them last week”, Allison claims. “They’re here because of us.” Um, sure. What about Josh and Sharon’s vote? Allison’s idea to get under Josh’s skin is to “just have a ball together.” Why didn’t you play that way, you silly twit? Silly Natalie agrees to campaign for her if they get off the block. Hmmmm.

Hahahaha. When it’s time to pick players for P.O.V., “Baller” (Adam) pats the seat next to him and tries to get Sheila to sit next to him. “Come on now”, she quietly replies. Sheila and Baller are chosen as the extra couple in the veto competition. How exciting!

James is in charge of the veto competition, and comes out in toga gear. Funny thing is that’s the most clothes he’s worn the entire game. The women are hoisted in the air as pieces from a puzzle are chosen. The first team to complete the puzzle wins (obviously). Allison is confident as puzzles are her “specialty”. Sure, it is – just like you’re an expert at chess yet has not won a single game.

Sheila’s afraid of heights, so she wants Baller to be on the pully. Allison is immediately screaming incoherently throughout the entire game. Matt and Natalie are actually playing well together, although he has to slow down so she can figure out what to do. Josh and Sharon are having troubles, though, as she continually drops the puzzle pieces. Same with Sheila and Adam, which Sheila says is all Adam’s fault. “He lets his ego get into play.” Who’s the egomaniac?

Allison claims to have figured out the puzzle, and starts rearranging. Josh and Sharon are nowhere near finished, while Sheila has the puzzle filled but nowhere near in the correct sequence. Allison is one piece away from victory, as is Natalie. Matt falls over, but Ryan has brought Allison the wrong piece. Natalie figures it as Allison is waiting for that last piece.

Natalie really doesn’t care that they won the competition. She’s just happy that she finally has the love of her man. Well, not love, but close enough for her. “I never seen Matty more happy with me. He tackled me like a football player…knowing that I pleased my partner is the best reward ever.” (Oh boy, my girl Chelsia is still changing clothes on the live feed.)

Nobody else is happy with this outcome. Sheila knows it means they’ll probably go up, and my girl Chelsia says “I really want Matt and Natalie out. I do not trust them. They’re really strong and powerful. So when they won the veto, I was pissed.”

Oh boy. Words of wisdom from Matt. He’s figured out that he needs to play every person in the house differently. “When it comes to Joshuah, I try to appeal to his gay side.” Oof, footage is shown of him hugging and kissing Joshuah after the veto competition. He then promises Natalie a massage. “That’s the power of God”, she replies. God loves lust?

His approach to Ryan is different. He considers him a friend, so he tells him that he’s going to try to convince Josh to put up whomever Ryan wants. For Allison, he’s her “shoulder to cry on”. Poor Allison says she never did anything to upset Josh. Millions of Americans beg to differ. Matt’s advice is that “gay guys are like women. You got to get on his gay side and you’ll be alright.”

For some reason, we don’t hear about how Matt works the rest of the house. Instead, it’s the next round of Sheila versus Matt. Sheila has tons of complaints about Adam, namely that he doesn’t work with her. James chuckles as he overhears her complain that it sucks to be his partner. Adam turns it around, though, by comparing Sheila to the wall. Even when she’s laughing, though, she continues to bicker. In the diary room, though, she admits that at times she really enjoys him.

Oh boy, more romance. Matt hears that Sharon’s not feeling good, and goes up to console her. Ohhhhhh, here’s where we learn more about how Matt plays the house. “With Sharon, I have to use my charm and make her think I care about her. I want to make sure that later on down the line I have her in my back pocket.” I don’t think it’s her pocket he’s after, though, as he goes after some makeout time with Sharon.

Before we get to the macking, though, we have an interruption. I saw it on the live feeds, but I have to say I’m enjoying it once again when Natalie comes up looking for Matt. He’s hiding in the bathroom while Sharon says she doesn’t know where he’s at. Sharon hints that she wants him to leave, but says “do what you want to do.” Well, he does, and with overdubbed porn music in the background. “She’s playing right into my trap”, he says, but Sharon says that’s not happening. “That’s part of your game to romance me? Ok, whatever. Bring it on.”

Joshuah c-blocks them, and he tells them how Natalie is hunting for Matt. I love how her bikini is so small they have to blur her ass. “All she can say is how happy she is that she won the game for him”, reports Josh. “She thinks that this is going to get her something”, questions Matt, who once again hides in the bathroom when Natalie comes up but is forced to reveal himself. “You’re hiding from me, Matty. Do you want to give me my massage now?”

Matt gets out of there as soon as he can, and Natalie informs Sharon and Joshuah that he pushes her away “because he gets too turned on by me. That’s why he keeps his distance from me.” Natalie leaves, and Sharon tells Josh what happened. Well, not everything. “He kept trying to kiss on me.” Trying? Uh, he did.

Natalie’s constant need for attention is clearly starting to grate on Matt. “How do I tell a girl not to like me?” He pulls her aside to “set the record straight”. In the midst of his babbling, he says “you know you’re my boy”. This doesn’t go down well with Natalie. “My boy?” He recovers by saying “when I say my boy, I mean my friend”.

Matt’s domination of the conversation continues to frustrate Natalie, before she finally explodes. “We were both put here for a reason. Maybe we’re supposed to meet.” Silence. “I think you’re a sweetheart”, Matt replies, but doesn’t completely reject her. “I am sorry. We’re just going to be friends.”

Funny thing about this segment – an entire section is not being shown at all where Natalie calls in the entire house to witness their argument. What is shown happened after this discussion ended, when Natalie was still upset because Matt didn’t allow her to say more than a couple of words.

She’s still delusional, though. “Matty seems to think we’re not soulmates, but that could just be his game play. Matty could still be my soulmate, without a doubt.” Poor girl.

It’s amazing that the show’s almost over and we’ve seen very little of Allison’s delusional actions. Oh wait, here we go. First she wants to chat with Josh, who wants less to do with her than Matt does with Natalie. “I want to understand why you’re so angry at me.” Standard gossiping is his reply. Ooh, count the Allison clich├ęs. Josh walks away as quickly as he can.

Well, we now have a new twist. The Hudson River Virus, which we first heard about last week, is going to finally come into play. At some point, a distinct fire alarm-ish sound will be heard, and the house is to immediately come into the living room to perform a task. Allison hopes that this sound will somehow help her. Matt hopes that this siren doesn’t affect the veto meeting.

Everybody is still talking about the mysterious sound, and they all have silly theories. Allison once again thinks it’s going to help save herself. But it’s now time for the same shots we see at this point of every Tuesday show. Matt and Natalie look at the wall of pics…and decide to save themselves. Sheila and Adam are picked to replace them. Allison is still confident because she’s a “survivor”. Wrong show, girlfriend, and I can’t wait to see you leave tomorrow.

Wait, what happened to the lesbian alliance fight? Weren’t we supposed to see the Sunday morning fight between Allison and Sheila? Wait a second! Ugh, the way these people produce this show!

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Ashley said...

i know allison totally doesn't understand why her lesbian alliance was hated so much by joshuah, but she totally lost his trust when she told him it wasn't true. why should he like you when he felt the two of you shared a unique bond?

she better go home!

bbfanto said...

The editing of the last few shows has been a little sketchy but I think they are finally starting to represent what is going on in the house better. I still think the TV viewer is really in the dark about how manipulative Allison was last week and why everyone has the hate on for her

Tony said...

holy shit scott.... bullet points would be fantastic


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