Big Brother - Season 9, Episode 13 Recap

Here we are with another night where I just didn’t want to shut down the feeds. There’s just too much going on right now, just like this past Sunday night. Yet the cast has created a scenario which should play well tonight…although given the track record of the producers I wouldn’t be surprised if they screw this up.

As we see the extended recap, I still can’t watch the Allison eviction without laughing. What a silly twit. Yet I’m hoping that CBS rigs the votes and has her return to the house.

Yum my girl Chelsia looks hot when her name comes up in the nominations. Yeah, I know – you all get it. I just can’t help myself, though.

So here we go with the reactions to the nominations. Sharon claims it shows you “who you can and cannot trust in this game.” But she claims she’s a fighter. Really? You haven’t really shown it yet. My girl Chelsia is sad because she’s on slop but yet must “kiss everybody’s asses”. I’ll refrain from the obvious sexual fantasies about my girl Chelsia.

Ryan not only claims Matt and Adam as his “boys”, but he also says he struck a secret deal with Joshuah to watch each other’s backs. Well, I bet Joshuah wants to watch Ryan’s back (and other body parts).

Sharon does finally get a good line in when discussing the situation with Chelsia, Joshuah, and Sheila. “Penises stick together.” “He’s got one too”, replies Sheila, pointing to Joshuah. Josh claims that his gayness is an advantage in the game. “I can bond with the guys, and the girls still trust me.” Hmmmm, I don’t know about that.

Up in the HOH, Ryan promises Joshuah that if the POV is used, Joshuah won’t be going up. Funny thing is, I think Joshuah would like to be backdoored. Oh snap! Joshuah says for the plan to work, he can’t hang out with Ryan. “Let me hang with the girls.” Josh does admit that Matt is the only person that’s keeping him from fully trusting Ryan.

Chelsia doesn’t believe anybody has her back, but James tells her to trust him. Plus, he uses the opportunity to steal some kisses that she clearly doesn’t want to give out. “I have you this week,” he says, “but you get me next time. I’m not going to let you go home.” Oh, if he only knew then how this would play out.

Wow, it’s almost a quarter into the show before we get our first Natalie/Matt situation. Natalie’s stating what she plans to do with any prize money she wins, and Matt calls her plan “boring”. “Once again, Matty loves to rain on my parade and put me down.” She has a fit and runs off – “I can’t be around negativity.” Ryan gives Matt shit, saying that if he doesn’t watch out Nat will put him up if she wins HOH. “No, I’ll just have to say I’ll make out with her.” Sadly, he’s right.

Natalie runs downstairs to complain to the girls about Matt’s meanness. Of course, Sheila’s there to feed her ego. “Natalie, I’m telling you he is walking.” Josh senses an opportunity, and comes up with a deal. “If we go to him and say if you get Matt out, we guarantee you safety for two weeks.” Unfortunately, he included Natalie (and Sheila) in this conversation, and after Matt apologizes for being mean (“we’re still partners”) she tells all. Well, not all as she leaves Sheila’s name out of the list of people plotting against him.

Matt’s got a great point – “why would you ever tell the girl who is obsessed with me that you want me out of this house?” It clearly is the dumbest move in this game so far…even worse then Jen telling all about Ryan being her boyfriend. Matt sprints upstairs to tell Ryan, and they decide to play dumb about the plan.

Josh is elected to tell Ryan the plan, and I have to admit Ryan is great at keeping a straight face. “The whole Matty thing is freaking people out. Everyone thinks you’re in an alliance and that you’re definitely a target for next week.” Ryan pretends that he agrees to nominate Matt as a replacement nominee. Ryan then surprises Josh by telling him he knew that he was coming to him with the plan, and nods when Josh asks if it’s Natalie who told Matt. Yet Ryan doesn’t completely blow off the plan.

Josh immediately informs Chelsia and Sheila about the leak. “She is blinded by him”, Sheila scream-whispers. Ryan and Matt chit-chat about who to put up, and Ryan lies in the DR that he’s still thinking about putting up Matt. Sure you are.

It’s time for the veto comp, and besides the nominees and Ryan, the other players selected were Adam, Sheila, and Joshuah. Natalie whines that she wants to play. Before we get to the actual competition, everybody heads up to the HOH to confirm the two week plan. James points out that they won’t get this opportunity next week, and Sheila just has to top it by saying she “guarantees” they’ll NEVER get a chance like this. Chelsia points out his doubletalk, and how he’s double-crossed Ryan twice. “I know”, replies Ryan.

The veto competition I sort of a combination golf/pool match, very similar to last year’s ice contest that resulted in Jen’s infamous unitard. It’s a pretty boring contest at first, and Sharon comes closest to the target. Sheila, as usual, ends up farthest from the hole, and ends up with the veto? I don’t get it. Sharon is eliminated in the second round, and wins a motorcycle. Chelsia’s bummed, as she’s always wanted a bike. Sharon wants the P.O.V. more, though, and trades the cycle for it. Now I get how this works.

Chelsia gets a hole in one in the next round, and Joshuah is eliminated in this round. His prize is a letter from home, and he couldn’t be happier as he’s a “huge mama’s boy”. Chelsia is nervous as she’s now against the “pool sharks”, but Adam is knocked out next. His prize? $10,000. He trades it for the motorcycle, which “shocks” Sheila. Ryan wins the last round, but Chelsia trades the slop pass for the POV. Ryan’s prize for winning? Jen’s unitard – and he shocks everybody by trading it for Sheila’s ten grand. “I was devastated,” she whines.

When we return from commercials, Sheila’s still complaining about the lost money. “Some people need the cash.” Menawhile, James and Chelsia celebrate with a makeout session in the supply room. “It couldn’t have worked out better,” brags James. Oh yeah? Wait a few minutes. Before we get to that, though, Ryan walks into the celebration, and everybody reiterates the two week promise.

Sheila’s putting on her unitard, and brags how at 45 “she’s still got it…Jen is probably so jealous right now”. Oh boy. She does thank Adam for trying to give her the money. Chelsia then pisses off Sheila by telling her to not “play the single mom card”. She promises to get back at Chelisa, along with the rest of her crew. Funny how she’s angrier at Chelsia then she is at the person who actually yanked the cash away from her.

Sheila goes off on this situation to first Adam, and then Natalie, who has little to say other than “um hmm”. Ohmigod, she just said that the strongest people in the house are the ones sitting right here. Sheila and Natalie? Bwahahahaha.

I have to give her credit, though, as she goes right to Ryan with her plan. “Who do you trust more? Joshuah, Sharon, James, and Chelsia?, Or Adam, Matty, Natalie, and me?” Little does she know that Ryan’s already been chatting with Matt about this very same subject, but we’ll let Sheila have her moment in the sun.

So we here we go with the veto meeting. My girl Chelsia looks hot as always as she does the customary “stare at the pictures” gimmick. She’s excited that “it’s Matty’s time to shine”. I’m going to be sad in a couple of minutes.

Josh is all Queen as he thinks he’s “pulled off the biggest strategic move in Big Brother history!” Um, just hold onto that thought for a minute or two longer, Josh. As expected, Chelsia pulls herself off the block, and they all expect Ryan to give it to Matt. Ryan complains that he’s being pulled in two different directions to nominate a certain person. When Ryan says James is being put up, the house goes deadly silent. Matt immediately flies into cocky mode…and I must say he should. “It’s on, now!” Josh is still cocky that he’ll “win the war”, as is Sheila (“I’m the mastermind").

vince McMahon really should be watching this season, as they're schooling him on how to put together a swerve. Wednesday is going to be fun!