Big Brother - Season 9, Episode 22 Recap

Welcome to episode two of the Natalie Show. If you have an adult beverage in front of you, why don’t you play a little drinking game while you’re watching (or, uh, reading, I guess). Take a sip whenever Natalie references Matt or God, or when Sheila mentions that she’s a single mother or says “think about it”.

You guys all know the drill. After the recap, we begin the show with the reactions to Natalie’s nominations of Joshuah and James. “These people are ridiculous,” complains James. “I took out one of their key players, and now every week it’s block, block, block, block. I believe this is my routine for the house. I must be nominated every week…or win HOH.”

Josh is still feeling confident. “This is definitely my first week on the block. I know that James is the real target, so all I have to do is keep it cool and I’ll be safe for another week.” Natalie confirms that James is the person she’s after. “My mission, and only mission, is to get James out of the house this week…I’ll send him to not only Chelsia, but to Matty.” (Take a drink, kids.)

James crashes on his bed, and Josh and Sharon escape to shave Josh’s legs (what?). Once again, James is lonely. “I’m pretty much on a distant island from everybody else. Having Chelsia around was definitely a key part of my survival in the house. Emotionally, it’s definitely taken a toll on me.”

Outside, Josh admits to Sharon that he’s scared, but Sharon gives him a pep talk that it’s really James that is the target. Ryan concurs. “If James doesn’t win (POV) tomorrow, you’re good.”

Meanwhile, Sheila of all people is giving James a pep talk in the sauna. “You’re going to win tomorrow. I know you are. I know you can go out and win this. You’re a strong player, James.” She goes on to tell him how he’s the best player in the house, which is exactly the opposite of what she’s been telling everybody else. James claims in the diary room that this pep talk “meant a lot to me.”

Unfortunately, she gives almost the exact same pep talk to Joshuah, which James overhears. “You have a lot more going for you, and a lot more power, than you think you do. I think you have the power to save yourself. If he wins, then we take a beating.”

Natalie attempts to jump in to ask about James’ whereabouts. “Who cares if he hears”, Sheila flippantly replies. “I don’t care.” Even Josh raises an eyebrow when she adds, “at this point it’s either going to happen, or not going to happen.” Maybe he’s as confused as I was by that silly statement.

James is listening in from the bedroom, and since he’s caught her in a “two-faced lie”, he comes out to confront her. “She tried to pump me up earlier in the day, and now she’s trying to rally the troops against me?” Everybody tries to shut her up as he walks into the kitchen area, but you can’t stop the Shedragon when she’s on a roll. “Do you know what? Blah blah blah.”

Playing it cool, James just casually mentions that he “just heard everything” as he grabs a glass. Sheila tries to explain that she was pumping Josh up because he was depressed about being on the block. “How should I feel?”

Wow, interesting editing here. When this happened, Sheila was a million times more annoying and back-tracking than she is here. James attempted to quiet her multiple times by telling her that he wasn’t mad, but none of that is shown here. All of a sudden, James and Adam are heading outside for a smoke, and Sheila walks away to tell Josh that she doesn’t care.

Again, James walks in on Sheila saying she wants him out, but this time he’s not as calm. Well, at first he is as he walks to his bed and pleads, “just stop”. But Shedragon can’t stop her babbling. “Win, lose, it don’t matter. I’m my own island in this house.”

Now Sheila heads outside and is suddenly all cocky about the incident with Ryan and Adam. “He heard everything, and I’m glad he heard it. You know why? ‘Cuz guess what? It’s true. The cats out of the bag and I’m sick that he’s still in this house…boo the hell who!” Adam then heads into the bedroom to report that “Sheila’s feeling better.” Good job, shit stirrer!

James gets up in his “tighty-blackies” to go confront Sheila, and Josh asks if he can go watch. Oh boy! “Sheila, I heard you feel better after everything.” “No, I don’t”, she lies. “You came to me today and told me ‘you got it’ and ‘I’ll look out for you’, and now you’re being a two-faced bitch!” Hehehehe! James’ gets angrier and angrier while Sheila continues to claim she’s never lied to him. OMG, these two are nuts!

We come back from commercials to the fallout from this confrontation. “The whole house wants me gone”, James complains to Sharon, Natalie, Ryan, and (a smiling) Josh, “but somehow the whole house brought me back. If you wanted me gone, then why didn’t you just kept me gone. But I’m listening to everybody going ‘we gotta get him out, we gotta get him out’.” Natalie claims to not have anything to do with it, as she had just walked in on the conversation. “It doesn’t matter”, replies James. “Guilty by association, right?” Good one, James. This goes on around and around, but basically James complains that he has “nobody to play with”.

Oooh, kids, it’s time to drink as Natalie brings up James’ eviction of Matt once again. But otherwise, this conversation is still worthless. For once, Adam’s the smart one, as he just pretends to read the Bible while lying in bed. Nice work, shit stirrer. Stir the pot, and then relax when it starts flying. I’m having a bit of a change of heart about this guy.

Oh wait, I talked too soon. Adam hears his name mentioned, and comes storming in to scream at James. “You’re right – nobody wants you in the house, bro!”

After everybody crashes, James wanders out to have something to drink, and Josh follows him out. They basically trash talk Sheila and Natalie for awhile, and James expresses frustration (again) that he has nobody to confide in. “She’s the ultimate two-faced player in the game”, Josh says to James. “There is no nice way to play Big Brother”, James whines (well, cries) in the diary room. “It just mentally takes a toll on you. This is the first time I’ve literally cried since my dad died.”

So we move on to choosing POV players. Natalie pulls houseguest choice, and picks Ryan. Josh gets Sheila, and James picks Sharon. Natalie then has to choose a host, and they pretend that there are more options than Adam. Well, I’m not sure whether Natalie understands this or not.

So the POV is all about numbers, and James is pissed because he’s “horrible with numbers”. It’s a question contest, and it’s a convoluted thing where it’s all about things in the yard, and players get to “stay” or “hold” based on the other’s guesses.

We start with how many letter blocks are in a cage, and James, Ryan, and Sheila fold on their guesses. Natalie gets the point, but Sharon and Josh are knocked out because they’re farthest away from the correct answer. The second question involves push pins (Ash?), and James and Sheila both fold. Ryan comes closest, and Natalie is out.

Question three revolves around a tub of lard (Sheila?), and James and Ryan folds, so Sheila gets the point. Josh finally notices a trend with James’ folding. The next question involves balls in a gumball machine. James now says he can tell when Ryan is nervous because he sweats. This time, James stays in, but Sheila and Ryan fold. If Ryan had stayed in, though, James would have been out.

We move on to a question about chain links, and Natalie guesses 900 from the sidelines. Sheila says there are 185 – hahahahaha. James stays in, but Sheila and Ryan both fold to give James another point (again, Ryan would have knocked James out if he had stayed in).

Josh is starting to get nervous. “It really, really, really sucks.” This question is about popcorn. Sheila looks confused. Ok, she always does. Sheila’s answers are getting worse every time, and she folds again “because I didn’t get the question”. James comes closest, and gets POV! “This is the third week in a row that Crazy James has the power of veto.”

Sharon races to console Josh, but he says he wants to be left alone. “I feel like it’s my own funeral I’m going to, and I just watched myself get put in the ground. The funeral’s over, and everybody has moved on. The game is done, and I’m over with.”

After commercials, we see James do a victory dance while Josh is in another room bawling. “There’s no way I can pull through this. I know that James will take himself off the block, and they’re going to put up Sharon. It’ll be Sharon the saint versus Josh the sinner. I’m done.” Sharon comes in to console him, to no avail.

Sharon goes into the storage room with Natalie to find out what she’s going to do, and Josh’s fears are confirmed. “I have to put you up, because I can’t put up anybody from my side. How many lives does this guy have?” At this point, Sharon realizes that she’s “the ultimate pawn”, and there’s nothing she can do. “Game over for me”, concedes Josh.

Ryan heads upstairs to chat with Natalie. “What do we have to do? I had that. Everything bad that could’ve happened, happened.” Oooh, more nine lives talk from Natalie. “Worst nightmare – no birthday present for Matty.” Drink up, everybody.

Josh makes Sharon cry by saying there’s no way he can campaign against Sharon. “I’m not going to run around like Chelsia. I love Sharon too much to do that.” Sheila plays mommy, and hugs each of them. (Why the constant selective editing with her?) “Take care of her”, he pleads to Sheila. “It’s going to get real nasty quick.”

Ok, enough of the tears. While Sheila continues to cheer up Sharon, the editing makes us believe that Josh has a revelation. “Wait a minute. Why should Sharon get to stay, and I have to go?” Suddenly, he’s a bit more chipper as he goes upstairs to talk to Natalie. As Sheila is telling Sharon that Josh is a good person, Josh is begging Natalie for “one more week”. Natalie promises to break the tie if he can get two votes.

Sheila is continuing to console Sharon as Josh works to get Ryan and James’ vote. “We can’t tell Sheila and Adam”, he warns James. Ok, enough of these interesting edits between Sheila/Sharon and Josh/Ryan/Natalie.

It’s now time for the veto meeting. I have to say that James does whatever he can to make these boring, obvious meetings a bit entertaining. James, of course, saves himself, but not before an interesting little speech. “Once again, collectively the house has tried to get me out, and once again, collectively, you failed. Every week I’m battling for my life, unlike other people in this house. I go out there and I realize if I don’t win, then I do go home. And I have prevailed. Whether I leave next week or not, I have had an experience that far surpasses any of you sitting here.”

His speech goes on as he tells Sheila that he wants her to compete, and prevail. “Even though I do immature acts in the house, I think the most mature thing I can do right now is tell you that you can put your mind to it and do it.” This goes on for a few more minutes before he’s finished, and as expected Natalie puts up Sharon. Finally!

I must say that I’m surprised by this episode. There really wasn’t as much Natalie as expected, and none of the April Fools Day jokes we saw on the live feeds. Plus, there were very few God, Matt, or “single mother” lines. I’m still sober! That’s not right!