Big Brother - Season 9, Episode 32

Hi Kids!!! Here we are with the final regular episode of season nine of Big Brother. Who will be the final HOH? Will either Ryan or Adam keep Sheila? (I sure hope not.)

I must say that it’s weird to have recaps of stuff we saw less than 24 hours ago, but I guess they have to go through this charade. Ooooh, Julie told us about Ryan and Adam’s last second conversation. They really did have to give some sort of explanation as to why Sharon was evicted…but I still say that it’s a shame the most important discussion of the entire season was not shown on the network.

We jump right into the first HOH competition, and Sheila is immediately complaining that it’s cold. “That water was like ice water. It felt like there were cubes in it. I’m up there and I’m freezing cold, and I’m battling one of my biggest fears. I was in Hawaii one time, and I almost drowned. It just terrified me.” Yes, Sheila, you’re always the martyr.

At the same time, Adam and Ryan appear to be having a great time. Adam wants them to raise the platform some more, which pisses Sheila off. “Stop it.” “Stop what?” Adam asks. “What’s up, baby? You’re here in the house, baby. You were on your way out the frickin’ door.”

Yes, they are going to show the conversation! Or are they? The eviction is once again shown, and Sheila says “I was absolutely blown away when Adam decided to keep me. I really was prepared to walk out the door. This is the guy I got set up with on the first day in the house, and I hated him but he turned out to be my best friend.”

Adam and Ryan both explain that it was good moves for them. In Ryan’s case, he didn’t get any “blood on my hands”. For Adam, “I got out a strong threat, and it solidified the bond between Sheila and I.”

Ryan then explains the conversation they had right before last night’s live show. “Adam came to me with a different plan.” We see the beginning of this plan, with Adam praying. Adam explains that it came to him that “Sheila has not proven herself in the past mentally. Sharon has been on the verge of winning the last three HOH’s. She’s been a question off. So why go against her in two ‘mentals’ when I could go against Sheila. And in my eyes, Sheila will keep me even if she does win.”

Adam heads to the kitchen to talk to Ryan. At first, Ryan is adamant that they stick to the original plan, so Adam begins his pitch. “I was thinking, Sheila’s dumb and she’ll be out of here quick, dude.” Classy, baller! He goes on about how Sharon is due to win, and that Sheila will “get nervous and choke”. He promises to quit immediately after Sheila drops out.

Slowly, Ryan is beginning to agree that it may be a better move. Adam continues by bragging that “no way me and you are losing to a 46 year-old woman. It’s an old lady, dude.” Ryan says in the diary room that he believes Adam was being totally truthful, and that it would be an easier road to go through Sheila.

We jump ahead to the moments right after the eviction, and Sheila is bawling because she’s “getting closer and closer to the big prize”. Ryan asks from another room if Sheila thought she was going. “Yes.”

Wow, Sheila really is getting the good edit tonight. We get the acoustic guitar background, as she goes on about how she “would have never dreamt this in a million years. Wow, I made it this far. I so want to make it to the end with Adam.”

We go back (or ahead, I guess) to the HOH competition, and Adam is bragging there’s no way “this old lady” is beating them. Sheila continues to complain about how this situation is remind her of that incident in Hawaii (enough!), but she says she knows she has to keep hanging on.

Now it’s Ryan’s turn to taunt Sheila, which he says the two of them had agreed to do to get her out as quickly as possible. Again, Adam says he wants the platform raised. Sheila says she knows what they’re doing, but the fact that she’s gotten this far into the game is keeping her on the board. “I thought about my son, and I was not going to give up.” Ugh, excuse me while I go vomit.

We’re now a whole 36 minutes into the contest, and Sheila is complaining about hypothermia. Oh boy. Both Adam and Ryan look like they could go for hours. “I’m gonna drop”, she says, and does. “My whole body was freezing”, she explains. “My decision was to fall so that I’m not sick and I can play in the next competition.” That woman has more excuses than anybody I’ve ever seen on television.

Sheila heads into the house, and after a brief discussion Adam does as he promised. There’s no Natalie-ish 90 minute delay with these guys. Ryan says Adam’s move “proved to me that he is going to be truthful and loyal to me.” At the same time, Adam claims that this move is the best move he could make, as both Ryan and Sheila think he’s with them. “I really don’t care as long as one of them takes me to the final two.” (OMG, he actually looked and sounded like Natalie there.)

After commercials, we jump right into the second competition. Obviously, both Adam and Sheila want to win. As Sheila would say, “durrrrr”. This round involves a giant guinea pig wheel and a maze. Spinning the wheel, they have to release balls representing each of this season’s HOH’s, and place them in the correct order.

Adam says the toughest part of this competition is maintaining his balance, and one can’t go too fast. Sheila’s first words about this event is predictably that “it’s a frickin’ nightmare”. She has troubles with the guinea pig wheel, but she’s determined to prove that she “can win something in this game”.

The editors make it appears as if it was a close contest, although Sheila is now complaining that she’s getting dizzy because she “hates roller coaster rides, or anything in motion”. My God, does she have an excuse for everything? I want one of Julie’s questions to be what exactly is a competition that would be perfect for her? Ok, after Sheila’s struggles it no longer looks like the two are close. She does get on a roll, though (or so they want us to think), and completes the task. “Oh my god, what a nightmare!” We get it, Sheila.

After both competitors have finished, Ryan comes out to announce the times. Sheila’s time was 33:26, and Adam mumbles something to Sheila that I can’t comprehend. Adam’s time was 14:55, less than half of Sheila’s! Oh, I get it – he said something to make it sound to Sheila like his time was worse.

It’s now later in the evening, and Adam apologizes after Sheila babbles about how he “kicked her butt. My fate lies in your hands.” He tells her that he wants to take her to the end, and that he’s going to do anything he can to ensure that happens.

Ryan walks in, and Sheila walks out, and the two boys celebrate. “Did I map it out to a ‘t”?” But Adam mentions how he can’t believe he’s going to win $500,000, which pisses off Ryan. Oh boy, could he be keeping Sheila if he wins tonight? “Hey buddy, you don’t have this wrapped up. I think between Adam and I it’s going to be a tossup as to who gets votes from the jury house. I think I might stand a better chance with Sheila.” All three continue to babble about what will work best for them.

It’s now time for the live portion of the show, and Julie immediately asks Sheila about how it feels to be at the mercy of the boys. You can imagine what she babbles, especially when she goes on about how “Adam is starting to look really good to me right now.” Poor guy.

Julie moves on to how confident they’ll get votes from the jury. Ryan has a lot of things going against him, so he rates his chances as a “3”. Sheila mentions the fights she’s had in the house, but finally says she’d say a “4”. Adam’s cocky enough that he goes with the giant figure of…”5”.

We come back from commercials with jury house footage!!! Matt and Josh now act like they’re buds, and Natalie is bummed that she rarely gets any time with Matt. “Usually, whenever I go into a room that Matty’s at, he gets up and leaves.” Matt asks Josh and Chelsia if he seems miserable, and Chelsia says he does “you have been since she came”.

Natalie says her feelings for him go down whenever he’s “mean”. She tells Josh that “I can’t wait to get out of here so I’m around people that like me”. Hahahaha! Josh tells Matt that he’s been very hateful towards her, and Natalie points out that the people who hate her have treated her better than him.

She continues to rant as Sharon walks in. James has a stunned look on his face, and Natalie says she never expected to see her. Josh is also bummed, as he expected her to win. Matt is cocky because “Team Matty has won”. What? Watching the video, Matt notes that Sheila’s only move is to cry. Chelsia notes the eye contact between Adam and Ryan, and that it’s so obvious they’re working together. Matt says it was a “great move”. Sharon is now bummed after this is pointed out, and shows a tiny bit more emotion than she did during the actual eviction. Trust me, though, a tiny tiny bit.

It’s now HOH time, and as always it’s a question contest. Or, as Adam would say, it’s “mental”. The questions are about statements made by those in the jury house, and they have to complete the sentence. The first question is who Matt wishes he was nicer to, and both answer correctly that it was Natalie (which makes both of them laugh).

The next question regards my girl Chelsia, and her biggest regret in the house. Chelsia’s answer about her hometown paper reporting her “showmance”, and they both get it wrong. Josh’s question is next, and it is whom he thinks is the most deserving to win. Finally, they have different answers, and Ryan gets a point for guessing Josh.

It’s James’ turn, and they both guess that his relationship with Chelsia will end, which is correct. Natalie’s question is what is the best “showmance”, and again they both say she’d pick herself. They’re both wrong, which I must admit is surprising.

The final question, which involves Sharon, is about her biggest lie in the house. Ugh, they both answered that she never told a lie. That’s not true, as her biggest lie was that her back hurt in the HOH contest, which means that Ryan is the final HOH! Adam and Ryan shake hands as we go into commercial. Who will Ryan take with him?

Before he evicts, they do get final pleas. Adam stands up and babbles about “bro’s to the end, from the beginning”. Sheila says she doesn’t know what to say, but that she’s followed through with everything he’s said throughout the entire game. Of course, she’s bawling through the entire speech.

It’s now Ryan’s turn, and he says they both deserve to go with him. He tells Adam that his gameplay makes him more deserving to move on, and FINALLY Sheila is evicted…which makes her gasp in disbelief. Really, Sheila? You can’t be shocked. Even those of us who have seen how CBS has edited this episode hasn’t convinced us that evicting Adam was a possibility.

Ryan does give her some encouraging words as she quickly grabs her junk and leaves. Even Julie has to console her. Back in the house, Adam tells Ryan that he did the right thing, and they do their silly “bro-shake”.

Switching back to the She-bot, the Jen-bot asks her what she’s feeling right now. “I thought Adam was going to win this, and take me to the end.” She goes on about how a lot of their bickering was acting, but he really didn’t owe her anything, and (incredulously) “I thought I played a really good game”.

I have to give Julie some credit here, as she brings up the single mom issue and how the money could have changed her life. “You’re walking out of here with no money, but did you learn anything from this experience?” We hear for what I hope is the final time that this was the “toughest thing I’ve ever done”. She’s “really devastated right now” that she didn’t win. Oh god, now we hear how it’s her son’s birthday on Friday…and how she conquered her fear of water in that failed HOH competition. Oh man, it’s just too easy to laugh at her.

We conclude with the goodbye messages, and She-bot manages to stop crying for a couple of minutes. Ryan calls her the “mother of the house”, and that he has respect for how far she made it. Adam says the he misses her already (yeah, sure), and that he’s sorry. She finally smiles at the end of his speech. She tells Julie that she plans to continue to be friends with Adam.

The episode ends with a final meaningless conversation with the final two. Julie calls them the “ultimate ‘bro-mance””. Ugh. Adam says it feels like they’ve known each other since they were kids.

With that the show is over. See you on Sunday for the final!