Big Brother - Season 9, Episode 7 Recap

Tonight’s the night for The Very Special Episode of Big Brother! You know, the one where not one, but two people almost died! Get ready for plenty of drama and even more tears.

As I wrote that preceding paragraph, the promo for this episode aired. Ohmigod, they really are going to milk. IN AN INSTANT EVERYTHING CHANGES!!! Wow, CBS is desperately going after ratings. Too bad it won’t help since that stupid American Idol is also on right now.

But first…we have to recap everything we already know. Jen’s gone, my girl Chelsia’s HOH (with James), and there was a food competition. Wait, they’re showing Amanda’s gossiping from last week? Oh, right, that’s called foreshadowing.

Great line from Matt, though. “Never trust anybody with pink hair.” Oooh, and we’re going to see Sheila and Allison fight. Maybe this won’t be so bad after all.

As you may expect, we start with the reactions to the nominations. Alex sums it up pretty accurately, albeit in a cocky way. “I would say probably 75% of the responsibility that I am on the block is because of Amanda.”

Matt’s not happy, as he was promised to not be put on the block. “America, you got that”, he gestures to the cameras when he confronts James. “The kid with the pink hair must go down,” he adds in the diary room. James feels no remorse. “I do not feel sad or bad or wrong…you’re supposed to lie, cheat, steal, whatever to get to the end.” In a nice touch, he tackles my girl Chelsia and steals a couple of kisses. Hey, you gotta get it when you can.

Meanwhile, Natalie sees this as an opportunity to get some alone time with Matt. Too bad we don’t get to see exactly what kind of alone time where she excels. “We have to win P.O.V.” You think?

Alex tells Amanda to get away so he doesn’t lash out at her. Typical Amanda retort when Matt says he has a negative attitude right now -“just towards me?” Uh, yeah. Truthfully, they would have gone up even without Amanda’s big mouth (unfortunately, a different kind of big mouth than what we see from Natalie). “There wasn’t one thing said about me,” adds Matt. Stay positive is all Amanda can say.

Amanda does perform one smart move. She puts a bug in Sheila’s ear that maybe Allison is playing her. Meanwhile, Allison is playing cleaning supply games with Natalie (yeah, I don’t get it either). More foreshadowing.

Matt again confronts James, saying he thought he was a “straight up dude”. After walking away, Alex pretty much does the same. They’re both acting a bit cocky because…well, how dare he put up the two studs of the house. “I know I wouldn’t be on the block this week if I didn’t have a partner,” claims the clearly delusional Matt. James is unfazed. “It’s a game. When it comes down to voting for people at the end, you’ll say ‘you know what, that person played the game’.” I like Alex, but this is the sort of attitude that bothers me every year.

Psycho Sheila is back at it. She confronts Allison, claiming that she’s getting a “really weird vibe”. Allison tries to say there’s no problems, but Sheila doesn’t let her get a word in. “Listen, listen.” Finally, she gets in a sentence or two where she explains she’s trying to get to know her partner.

P.O.V. time, and Sharon and Josh get to be the extra couple in the competition. More brainstorming between Matt and Alex before the competition, but James interrupts them. Matt talks a bit more smack, but James just smiles and tells them to “keep talking” as he walks out.

Silly CBS tie-in time, as the contest is a puzzle that involves Jericho, the show that’s on after Big Brother. Both Chelsia and Matt think they have an in, because either they or their father have had construction-related gigs. Oooookay. I won’t bore you with the details, except that Matt was confused by the different lengths of cables. “It was a puzzle.” Um, yeah.

Sharon and Joshuah win, narrowly beating Alex and Amanda. The extra prize is they get to read some news headlines. Amanda jumps for joy at the news that John McCain has won the Republican nomination. “I didn’t think that Amanda would be a Republican,” comments James. “Then again, I didn’t think she’d be much of anything.” Priceless. It turns out she has two favorites, as she also cheers the news of Barack Obama taking the lead in the Democratic race.

Of course, Joshuah cares more about the Britney Spears stories. They’re all confused, though, when a story about the Hudson River virus is displayed. So is most of America, judging by the ratings of Jericho.

Back to the Sheila/Allison situation. Poor Sheila – she’s not getting to dominate Allison’s time. “That bitch”, she whines to a bug-eyed Natalie. “I trusted that girl. I feel like an employee.” Holy shit, she’s psychotic. It’s bad when Natalie becomes the voice of reason. “She needs to learn how to keep things in.”

She then moves on to Matt, and becomes even more heated. Even Matt thinks she’s a mental case, and he would know. But Sharon says she has “street smarts”. Hahahahahaha! Sharon overhears and tells Allison how Sharon’s telling everybody she “saved” her, and it’s ON! Again, Allison isn’t able to get a word in, and the majority of the house enjoys the ensuing battle.

Allison lets off some steam by running laps and talking trash to Sharon. In the middle of whining about Sheila, THE BIG DRAMA BEGINS. She took off to the diary room, breathing heavily. Meanwhile, Amanda and Natalie are doing their nails, unaware of Allison’s allergic reaction. Amanda complains about feeling tired, and faints. Natalie is probably the last person I’d want to be around during a time of crisis, but at least she gets help. Amanda comes to and starts hyperventilating, and the nurse runs in.

Paramedics arrive, and Amanda is wheeled out (as is Allison off camera). Cue the piano music, and Natalie pretends to be touched. “They’re still like our family.” Matt seems to think he’s saved. Everybody has their moment of sappiness, but let’s be real. They were both gone for three hours. Oh, and Matt now has a newfound respect for the “crazy pink-haired freak”.

We get our happy ending, with more sappy music. Of course, Amanda is more worried about her appearance as she was lying on the ground. Everybody makes up with each other, though, (although Sheila has to make it all about her once again) and they all lived happily after…

Oh wait, we have the P.O.V. meeting. It wasn’t used, although we still went through the charade of showing Sharon and Joshuah staring at the wall of pictures, and everybody’s comments on how it should be used on them. At least we got final bikini shots of Amanda and my girl Chelsia.

See ya Thursday!