Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Big Brother - Season 9, Episode 28 Recap

Welcome to episode two of the “Reign of the Shebot”. I won’t be drinking tonight, though, as the after effects of Sunday’s episode is still being felt tonight. But if you insist on playing the BB drinking game, I suggest you concentrate on Natalie tonight. Take a drink whenever you hear the terms “Jesus”, “Team Christ”, “girl’s club, “evil-doers”, or brags about making it to the finals. Good luck. You’re going to need it.

Despite the minor template change we saw Sunday night where they delayed the reaction to James’ eviction to the middle of the HOH competition, we go back tonight to the tired format of beginning with everybody’s reaction to Sheila’s nominations. (BTW, take two drinks from Natalie’s babbling during the recap.)

Right after the nomination, Natalie puts on a fake front to comfort Adam (“Baller!”), but he refuses a hug from Sheila. Sheila explains that neither Adam nor Sharon are her real targets, and she really wants to evict Natalie.

Sharon says that this week it’s not that scary to be on the block this week because the real target is Natalie, who “has absolutely no idea the entire house is against her”. Natalie admits in the diary room that she’s playing both sides – “Team Christ” and “girl power” (take two more drinks). “I’m in a good position and I’ll keep the target off my back.” She babbles nonsense about worst case scenario to Adam, who isn’t buying it because if Natalie wins the veto “I could go home”.

Natalie is now hanging out with Sheila in the HOH, and Sharon comes up to visit. “I’m coming to wreck your party.” Sharon informs the girls that Adam is freaking out. “I always bash Adam in front of the girls”, claims Sheila, “because I want the girls to think I really can’t stand him and could care less if he’s evicted. But the reality is that I don’t want Adam to leave this game, and I’d like to go to the end of the game with him.”

To prove this theory, Sheila begins ranting about how Adam is “the worst frickin’ crybaby”, and then laughs when Sharon responds that “boys just bitch about everything”.

Sheila is in the kitchen now trying to calm down Adam. “It’s going to be ok. I promise you.” Natalie walks in, and Sheila asks for assistance. “You’ve got my vote. One hundred percent. Things are going to be fine.” Adam responds that everybody says that but “I know how this game works”. Predictably, Sheila gets all defensive, but Ryan also jumps to Sheila’s defense. “You did put all of us at risk last week.” Sheila and Adam go back and forth for awhile, but Ryan points out that he’s not the target this week. Oh, take a drink because Natalie says that they need to say their prayers.

Natalie is now out in the sun, and Sharon is in the kitchen with everybody as Sheila complains how Natalie has “never came to her rescue. I try to talk to her about my problems, and she just goes ‘Sheila, that’s old news. Just let it go. Get over it.’ If (she) had just listened to me once without giving me a Bible verse…(we) would have had a better relationship than we have now.” Adam responds with a Bible verse about false witnesses, and Sheila warns the boys that she’s coming after them next week. Again, this goes back and forth for awhile while Natalie is all by herself in the sun. Adam concludes the segment by calling her “Judas”.

Now the boys are playing chess, and they see that the POV will actually be played that night instead of the usual following afternoon. They gather up the girls to inform them of this news, and for some reason Natalie starts squealing “I’m telling you what!” You’re telling us what? Really, I want to know.

Sheila tells us this “is one of the biggest POV’s ever!” How about the one last week? Or the one next week? Or the very first one? This is just silly. In the diary room, Sheila goes through the list of who HAS to win this, which is everybody but Natalie, and then she repeats this in whispers to Sharon and Ryan. “Make this happen for me, Rye-bread.” She gives her “frickin’ word” that Sharon won’t be going home. Meanwhile, Natalie tells Ryan and Adam “that it’s up to us three.” Then she gets a strange face and proclaims that “I had a feeling this was going down tonight. I get these ‘premies’ guys.” Do ya? “Git ‘er dunnn. D-U-triple N!” Ugh! The boys smirk as she walks away.

After commercials, it’s time for the POV. Each person has to hang in their room, and come out one at a time. Sheila babbles again about how important it is for her to win veto. Yeah, we’ve heard this before.

Natalie is up first, and she babbles about the giant tv and everything else. “It looks like a 70’s love shack.” Oh boy. The game consists of nine square and remote controls, and one has to put a puzzle together. There are multiple puzzles, though, but only one uses all nine squares. The person who gets it done in the quickest time wins. Natalie initially chooses the wrong puzzle, and is thrown for a loop when she can’t find “the top of Baller’s head”. I really can’t transcribe any more of her decision making, so let’s just say that she doesn’t do well, although after she finally completes the task she calls herself a “visual learner”.

Adam’s up next, and he knows this is his one shot. We don’t see him play, though, as we immediately move to first Ryan, and then Sharon. They both babble the usual nonsense about how important it is for them to win. Sheila’s last, and she’s worried because supposedly Natalie is good at puzzles. “She brags about doing puzzles all the time. This could blow my plans out of the water.” We see bits and pieces of everybody working on the puzzles, which is incredibly boring except for Ryan saying that the beauty of his girlfriend, Jen, slowed him down. Well, they all talk about people they see on the screen, and Sheila is especially nauseous talking about Evel Dick (again).

Finally, we get to see the results. Natalie is all confident that she won, which makes Sharon believe she’s in trouble. Ryan’s time is revealed to be 6:01, Sheila’s is 15:30 (hehe), Adam clocked out at 3:20, and Natalie’s time is 12:09. Hahahahahaha! Sharon must beat 3:20, but her time is 4:56. Big Baller’s the POV! Natalie is happy because if Adam hadn’t done so well, then Sharon would have won. Yeah, we know that. “It’s a blessing that Adam won. Thank God!” (Drink!)

After commercials, everybody is still celebrating Adam’s win. After a couple of minutes of that nonsense, we move up to Sharon and Sheila talking in the HOH. “Adam is ready to get rid of (Natalie), and so am I. She’s not going to be happy about it. She’s going to try to talk me out of it, but…I’ll toss her ass out.”

They switch on the monitor in the HOH to see Natalie sweet talking the boys. “She’s got three of us playing against her next week…if you decide to keep me.” Uh oh, two Team Christ mentions for those of you drinking.

Ryan tells Natalie that he’s going to break up Sheila and Sharon’s meeting, and heads upstairs. Ryan informs them that Natalie knows she’s going up, but thinks she’s safe. “She needs to keep thinking that”, Sheila responds. “Ryan, she’s got to go.” Haha – Sheila calls Natalie a “female James”.

It’s now the following day, and Natalie is babbling to the boys how she prays to God (drink) that she wants to entertain people, and God (drink) has answered her prayers by putting her on TV “to play me”. Sharon and Sheila continue to talk about the situation, and Natalie gives her the evil eye as she figures out that the two of them may be plotting against them.

We jump ahead a bit, and Natalie is now bad-mouthing Sharon to Sheila. Sheila’s not in the mood for it, and starts arguing with her, especially when Natalie brings up her promise to protect each other…or that “I should have never let go” in the HOH competition. Natalie claims in the diary room that “Team Christ is going to act like Jesus and keep me”. (Two more drinks!)

It’s now Sheila’s birthday, and there’s a little surprise party for her. After blowing out the candles on her cake, she opens up a letter from her mom. Time for tears, as again we have to hear the entire letter. Oh, she’s shocked that her mom has always been a huge fan of the show, and Sheila never knew. And we get more single mom talk, as she was also one.

With that silliness over, it’s time for Sharon and Adam to talk about Natalie. Sharon informs him that anybody would win against her in the final two, and that’s why nobody is really going after her. Adam then chats about this with Ryan, who says “obviously, she’s going to say this”. After a little chat, the two decide that maybe eliminating Natalie is not such a good idea.

Talking with Sheila, Adam starts saying that he might not be down with the plan after all. Sheila tells him that’s an awful idea, and that Natalie has said she’s going after both of the boys. Ryan and Adam can’t believe this, and also point out that Sheila must stop talking about the end game. Sheila’s also pissed that they may split the votes, forcing her to make the decision.

This conversation carries on later that night, and Sheila and Adam start arguing. Ryan tells him to shut up, and that after Natalie’s on the block they’ll decide themselves who they’ll evict.

It’s now POV time, and before Adam saves himself we have to listen to Sharon babble nonsense as usual. Adam does indeed save himself, and Sheila says once again that it’s the “hardest decision she’s ever had to make”. Yes, it’s Natalie, because Ryan saved her last week.

Sheila explains that “Natalie does feel safe at this point, and she isn’t safe.” Natalie, though, says she does feel confident that her alliance will keep her. “They want to keep Team Christ together at least one more week!” (One last drink, kids.) Ryan is happy with the control they now have, and that he thinks they’ll have the rest of the game. God, I hope he makes the right choice tomorrow night!